Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by T A A on January 18, 2011 at 7:00pm

IMHO differences in what we call "sex drive" between men and women and mostly due to investigative bias and cultural, as opposed to biological, impetus.

 

I was raised in a complete void of sexual "morals", it was a household which not once mentioned god or religion. My parents referred all my sexual questions to our library collection. I learned everything about sex through science (and a little erotica) books. The only 'rule' that was stated regarding sex "protect yourself from disease and teen pregnancy". IME, my sex drive is as strong as any male, and I have attributed that to a complete lack of moral disuasion in my upbringing, in addition to being raised in a very liberal society. I think of sex several times a day, at the grocery store, at the bank, watching movies, talking on the phone, playing games, there is no situation where sex does not come to mind, even at the doctor's.

 

But one contradicting question lingers in me... One that studies such as these also usuall tend to ignore. What if the absolute best indicator of sexual drive is in fact the act of coupling up in medium and long term relationships? We've all heard the expression, or some variation thereof: "I needed it regular" as for one's reason to be in a given relationship.

 

What if, notwithstanding all the smaller and colateral indicators, we are missing the bigger picture? Maybe I never was in a long term relationship because regular sex was just not that important to me???? If my actual sex drive was that huge, surely, I'd have made the sacrifice and jumped into a long term relationship? Statistically speaking, even when a longterm relationship is not too intensive, coupled people nonetheless get more sex than single people... (allowing for a couple of exceptions).

 

Experimental bias is so rampant in psychological studies, it's a wonder we know anything at all on the topic.

Permalink Reply by T A A on January 18, 2011 at 7:33pm

 

2004 Stats for the USA

 

Percentage of Women Who Never Married

# 1	District of Columbia:	46.2 %
# 2	New York:	30 %
# 3	Massachusetts:	28.9 %
# 4	Maryland:	28.8 %
# 5	Rhode Island:	28.7 %
= 6	Mississippi:	27.8 %
= 6	California:	27.8 %
# 8	Illinois:	27 %
# 9	Alaska:	26.6 %
# 10	New Jersey:	26.5 %
# 11	Louisiana:	26.4 %
# 12	Delaware:	26.2 %
# 13	Hawaii:	26.1 %
# 14	Michigan:	26 %
# 15	Wisconsin:	25.7 %
= 16	Pennsylvania:	25.4 %
= 16	Georgia:	25.4 %
# 18	Minnesota:	25.3 %
# 19	New Mexico:	25.1 %
= 20	Connecticut:	24.8 %
= 20	Washington:	24.8 %
# 22	Texas:	24.6 %
= 23	Ohio:	24.3 %
= 23	South Carolina:	24.3 %
# 25	Colorado:	24.1 %
# 26	Arizona:	23.8 %
# 27	Virginia:	23.7 %
# 28	Vermont:	23.5 %
= 29	North Dakota:	23.4 %
= 29	New Hampshire:	23.4 %
# 31	North Carolina:	22.9 %
= 32	Oregon:	22.8 %
= 32	Nebraska:	22.8 %
= 32	Missouri:	22.8 %
# 35	Indiana:	22.7 %
# 36	Florida:	22.5 %
= 37	Maine:	22.3 %
= 37	Utah:	22.3 %
# 39	Tennessee:	22.1 %
# 40	South Dakota:	21.6 %
# 41	Iowa:	21.5 %
# 42	Nevada:	21.3 %
# 43	Arkansas:	21.2 %
# 44	Montana:	21.1 %
= 45	Wyoming:	21 %
= 45	Alabama:	21 %
# 47	Kansas:	20.9 %
# 48	Kentucky:	20 %
= 49	West Virginia:	19.7 %
= 49	Idaho:	19.7 %
# 51	Oklahoma:	18.8 %
	Weighted average:	24.4 %

Percentage of Men Who Never Married

# 1	District of Columbia:	50.4 %
# 2	Alaska:	34.9 %
# 3	New York:	34.7 %
= 4	California:	34.1 %
= 4	Massachusetts:	34.1 %
# 6	Rhode Island:	33.4 %
# 7	Hawaii:	33 %
= 8	Illinois:	32.1 %
= 8	Maryland:	32.1 %
= 10	Louisiana:	32 %
= 10	Nevada:	32 %
# 12	Wisconsin:	31.7 %
# 13	Colorado:	31.3 %
# 14	New Mexico:	31.2 %
= 15	North Dakota:	31.1 %
= 15	Washington:	31.1 %
# 17	New Jersey:	31 %
= 18	Michigan:	30.8 %
= 18	Minnesota:	30.8 %
# 20	Pennsylvania:	30.5 %
= 21	Arizona:	30.2 %
= 21	Georgia:	30.2 %
= 23	Connecticut:	30.1 %
= 23	Delaware:	30.1 %
= 25	Mississippi:	29.7 %
= 25	Texas:	29.7 %
# 27	Montana:	29.5 %
= 28	Ohio:	29.3 %
= 28	South Carolina:	29.3 %
# 30	Vermont:	29.2 %
# 31	Virginia:	29.1 %
# 32	Nebraska:	29 %
= 33	Oregon:	28.9 %
= 33	Utah:	28.9 %
# 35	South Dakota:	28.7 %
# 36	New Hampshire:	28.6 %
# 37	Florida:	28.5 %
= 38	Kansas:	28.2 %
= 38	North Carolina:	28.2 %
# 40	Missouri:	28 %
# 41	Indiana:	27.9 %
# 42	Maine:	27.7 %
# 43	Tennessee:	27.3 %
# 44	Alabama:	27.2 %
# 45	Iowa:	27 %
# 46	Idaho:	26.5 %
# 47	Wyoming:	26.3 %
# 48	West Virginia:	26.2 %
# 49	Arkansas:	25.7 %
# 50	Kentucky:	25.4 %
# 51	Oklahoma:	25.1 %
	Weighted average:	30.2 %

Click here for a correlation plot of unmarried men vs unmarried women, per USA state. (I tried embedding it but was unsuccessful).

Durex Survey (2001) Highlights:

• 48% of women admitted to faking an orgasm.

• Americans appear to have the most sex at 132 times a year, with the Russians close behind at 122 times a year, the French at 121, and the Greeks at 115.
• The countries with the lowest frequency of sex are Japan (37 times per), Malaysia (62) and China (69).
• Couples living together report having sex 146 times per year.
• Married couples make love 98 times per year.
• Single folks are having sex the least at 49 times a year.

My conclusions, even when sex is so bad women fake it 48% of the time, women still prefer being married more than men. Couples get 2.5 times more sex than singles. If men REALLY wanted sex THAT bad, they'd couple up more.

 

So the real question may not be "how often do you think of sex" but "how BADLY do you want it". And then ask yourself which question best describes "sex drive".

Permalink Reply by MikeLong on May 20, 2011 at 8:04am

No mention of DC? Washington stands out like a sore thumb in the stats of "People Who Never Married". Why??