In a bizarre twist, the conclave has decided to elect a random Atheist as pope - believing they will show the world that Atheists don't have any better answers than octogenarian celibates.  You've been selected - what would you do?

Remember, disbanding the church really isn't an option because the adherents aren't going to give up just because an Atheist Pope said to abandon faith.  Realistically, what could you do as Pope that would actually have a positive impact on the world?

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1.  Promote the use of contraceptives, especially condoms.  Manufacture Catholic Condoms, with a little holy cross on them, and give them away free.

2. Promote the need to address Global Warming, and inspire a planetary cleanup.

3. Cash in the Vatican's chips, as in sell off all its worldly goods, and organise a charity to distribute food, water and other necessities to the poor.

4. Permit priests to get married, and hand over all information regarding child-molestors within the church to the police for prosecution.

5. Tell the faithful that God will judge them on their behaviour, not their fidelity.  Abolish confessionals.

6. Make my wife co-Pope :)

You really boiled it down fast.  I even think you have a great order of priority to your reformations.

1) I notice you don't say anything about ending the opposition to abortion, and I think that makes sense in this context; the belief that that fetus is a sacrosanct life is too embedded in the theology.  But there's no such "logic" to the condom prohibition.  Arthur C. Clarke (I think) actually depicted the RC church making just such a proclamation in one of his novels, but then saying,  once it's conceived its too late; we haven't changed our mind about that.

4) I think this too could be readily accepted in the church.  You might create an order of the priesthood for those who actually want to be celibate for whatever reason but under NO circumstances let it justify molestation.  (By the way why did you link this with the molestation issue?  Are you claiming they take on an interest in little boys out of frustration in not being able to boink adult women?  I thought sexual orientation was a little less malleable than that.)

5) I doubt that would fly, it's too integral to the theology.

6) I doubt this would fly, too.  But it's a fun thought.

Ahahaha, Strega. I like number 6

4. Permit priests to get married, and hand over all information regarding child-molestors within the church to the police for prosecution.

There's no connection between celibacy and pedophilia. First, a pedophile isn't being celibate, he's having sex with a child. Secondly, there's no scientific evidence that pedophiles will turn to sex with women to the exclusion of children given the alternative. 

These should really be two different items.

Now, as an ex-Christian, I do see a problem with the second item, turning over pedophile data. Christianity is all about forgiveness and redemption. For theological reasons, Christian officials will always be hesitant to turn over such information as anything but a last resort.

And, I might add, ESPECIALLY if the information is revealed in the confessional.

Oh over and above Strega's suggestons.

I'd mandate a return to Latin Mass.  And various other measures to make church a bit less appealing.

I think I might try to 'connect to the flock' by suggesting that we need to think of Jesus in a modern context.  What would he be like if he were born today?  I'm certain his anger towards money-changers wouldn't be dampened.  I might be tempted to rally the troops towards some sort of radical economic-revolution.

I would certainly promote birth control and other contraceptives. I would also try to decriminalize being gay all over the world and try to get these people marriage rights. I would also promote things like evolution as fact. I would try to get people to pray less and to believe in themselves to solve a difficult problem rather than God. There are probably a million things I would do but I can't think of many of them right now!

Put "Its Raining Men" on the juke box and order some rent boys!

HALLELUJAH! Its Raining Men!

1. convert churches to libraries

2. encourage scientific discourses during sunday mass

3. work towards abolishing alms giving

4. promote the use of contraceptives world over especially in africa where there is a great apathy

5. my first mass tell the faithful there is no god


"5. my first mass tell the faithful there is no god"

Before you do that, you better go build a squillion mental asylums to put them in because they arent going to take that news lightly.

That would truly cause global hyseria and mass suicides ...

Not a good idea.


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