Me your humble athiest:I am an athiest, I use to believe in Jesus, but that is silly because, imaginary gods aren't real.

Righteous Dude:Jesus loves you, when you say that you use to believe in Jesus, you were probably just going thru the motions, did you have a personal relationship with jesus?

Me your humble athiest:Yes, but I came to realize that my relationship was imaginary.

Righteous Dude: If you had a real personal relationship yada yada yada

Me your humble athiest:Told him my life story....reasons why I believed...how I came to realize that fear makes us create a lot of imaginary gods and monsters, and that the only real monsters are you and I, and that an imaginary god isn't going to do anything about that...etc.

Righteous Dude:I dont think you had a personal...........yada yada yada

Any good responses?

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Reminds me of that point-counterpoint in the Onion. JC: Where there is one set of footprints are the times when I carried you. Response: Bullshit, Jesus, those are obviously MY footprints!

My wife and I were intercepted by a Fundy street preacher on Xmas Eve on Fremont St. in Las Vegas in 2006. She (the preacher) was telling us all this shit. I told her the only reason she was talking to us was because we were too fat to run away.
Hahahahaha!
A swift backhand across the cheek?

And it wasn't so much as a personal relationship most likely... he just stalked you for a while and you felt obliged to reciprocate until you had to just put your foot down and say "no more".
This thread is hilarious, thanks everyone for making my day...
I totally agree with the fear affect! My husband was the one that said it's fear that makes people create things to answer questions that we all know no one can really answer. Fear of going to hell, fear of being a bad person, fear of punishment, fear of fitting in, just plain fear of not knowing the asnwers.
Mostly motivators. Negative ones are fear based. Positive ones are reward based.

Too bad those rewards and punishments happen when you die. That doesn't make them rewards or punishments, does it?
I like to tell people that when I was younger and wilder I had a drunken one-night-stand with Jesus. Doing laundry few days later I found his number on a matchbook. When I called it went straight to message and I didn't know what to say. We haven't spoken since.
That kind of conversation USUALLY ends like:

Me Humble Reasonable Atheist: I don't believe in make believe nothing you say or do can change that.

Righteous Dude: Bless your soul (recites random bible verse) God will have mercy on you

Me Humble Reasonable Atheist: (By the time he got to the "Ble..." I was already "LUNCHING")
I come up against this one all the time from my Mum - not about Jesus but about feeling 'energy' - a magical indefinable thing floating around in the sky *groan*

When I tell her I used to feel it too & it's really just imaginary she'll tell me I probably never actually 'connected' with it. I tried to prove it by showing her I can still make a pendulum move & she said 'you're just moving your hand'... YOU'RE just moving your hand Mum! That's how it fucking WORKS!!! ARGH!!!
Hand is moving the pendulum. Miracle!!
Fred, you'll be fine on your own - that's how it has been all along anyway. Have faith in yourself!
How do you have a personal relationship with something whose voice sounds like dead silence?

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