Wrong assumptions and unfair expectations
Wrong assumptions and unfair expectations
We all make assumptions about other people in life, and people also make assumptions about us in return. All of us have also placed unfair expectations—both positive and negative—on other people as well, and vice versa. That is just part of being human, and something we should be aware of, and yes, perhaps work on, too.
What I want to ask here though is if you have had any experiences that really stick out in your mind—something that really made a lasting impression on you—where someone made wrong assumptions about you, or placed unfair expectations on you?
For example, perhaps you:
Are an American who was living and working in a foreign country
Or, you were a white kid who ended up going to a predominately black high school
Or, you befriended, dated, or married someone who was not your socio-economic equal
You get the point. So, Question 1:
At some point in your life, where you ever in a situation where either an individual or a group of people made some really inaccurate and unfair assumptions about you as a person, or had some expectation of you that you felt was unwarranted? If so, can you briefly describe the situation, and tell us how you handled it, and the eventual outcome?
Question 2:
Same question, only in reverse. Have you ever made a really wrong assumption about someone or placed unfair expectations on them, only to get your comeuppance later on? If so, did that experience alter what and/or how you think of other people?
Alternately, you can answer Question 2 if you have observed a situation in which something like this happened, but in which you were not directly involved.
Tags: assumptions, expectations, relationships
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on -
I've made more wrong assumptions about people than I can recall.
As far as people making wrong assumptions about me? For a long time people assumed I was not very bright and didn't read books because, I think, of my self deprecating humor. More recently, I received a promotion at work. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on -
I am very self-deprecating, but I don't think people get it. I think I need to stop being that way because I think it works against me.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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I agree. I have come to the point where I am going to start being a jerk to people. It seems to work better, not just in romantic relationships, but in business, too. Well, not a jerk, really, but I must quit trying to put people at ease and being eager to be friendly. People don't respect that, for some reason. Leave them guessing instead of reassuring them comes with greater success. I hate that!
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Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on
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My sentiments exactly. It's like if you are warm and unimposing, they don't respect you or something.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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I just don't want people scratching my belly and telling me what a good doggy I have been during meetings. Is that too much to ask?
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Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on
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Yeah, but it sure doesn't work when you're in the market for a relationship.
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Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on
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Yeah, but I love you anyways. : )
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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Only self-important, conceited jerks who don't know much about the world can take themselves to seriously.
I think that is the problem.
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Permalink Reply by Doug Reardon on -
I worked for a year as a computer consultant at Tuskegee Institute, now Tuskegee University. An acquaintance asked me how I felt working there. My response was: "I've never felt so short in my life!", he of course was expecting some comment about race, but race didn't enter into the picture for me, but there sure were a lot of tall women on that campus!
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Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on
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Here's my answer to question #1: once I was picking up my oldest son from his after school class (he must have been in first or second grade, and this woman (also a mom picking up her son, I saw her almost daily) walks over to me and starts telling me that my kid and her kid were good buddies and that she loved chatting with my son because he was so creative and imaginative! I smiled and asked her why she said that, and she told me that my son had told her that his mom was a molecular biologist! When I told her that, well, I actually was a molecular biologist, she was so embarrassed! I felt bad for her.
Great example. I bet she learned her lesson. That just goes to show though that even women sometimes don't expect other women to be successful or accomplished. Quite a shame really.
Unless, of course, we are talking about Glenn Beck, after 5 minutes of listening to him you can tell he's a fucking moron (are we allowed to use foul language on TA?) :-)
Dunno, but all you have to do is say Glenn Beck and that's what comes to mind anyhow.
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