This question really applies to all religions, but sinse I live in the bible belt of the states I'll stick with what I'm most familiar with. It is extremely difficult for me to meet an atheist guy where I'm from. There are a few guys who are interested in me, but the fact that they are all Christian turns me off tremendously (I don't think any of them know I am an atheist, otherwise I doubt any of them would be interested any longer).
To me there is nothing sexier than an intelligent man and if you don't "believe" in evolution, I'm sorry, you are not too bright in my book... Or if you believe that the bible is the literal word of God, how can I ever expect to have an intelligent conversation with you?
There are plenty of good guys where I'm from, but the moment they tell me that the reason behind their happiness and positive outlook on life is the spirit of Jesus living in their heart, it's all I can do but puke all over their shoes...
If the guy I was dating every told me that he wants us to wait until marriage to have sex or that he is against the usage of any kind of birth control, the next words out of my mouth would be "I'm sorry, but this really isn't going to work out..." I respect everyone's decision when it comes to their sexual preferences, but when it is so out of sync with my own, it is a deal-breaker. I realize that some Christians do have premarital sex, but guilt almost always follows and I'm sure that that guilt impacts their performance in one way or another.
I know there are plenty of atheist/Christian couples out there who have made their relationships work, but I just cannot imagine how they do it. Coming from such a religious family and being surrounded by such an abundance of ignorant, sexist, racist, and homophobic comments and behavior every single day, I cannot imagine ever being happy with someone who mirrors those attitudes and behavior. I could never be happy unless he was someone on whom I could vent on about my frustrations with religion and my family without having to worry about offending him. Instead, he'd have to be empathetic and encouraging. There's no way I'd ever get that from any Christian...
What are your thoughts on this subject?
Nope, I couldn't in any way, shape or form. Xians are just too narrow in their general thinking. If they believe in the supernatural - a deal breaker. It goes to the heart of who I am. Most don't read the bible, and that is one of the reasons I am an Atheist, I read the bible, an xian just doesn't see what I see.
The vast majority of religious people have been indoctrinated from birth, and if they can't see that giving up your son to be nailed to a cross is abhorrent - what sort of lesson is that given to children. Then comes the question, how would any child be bought up? A frigging nightmare.
A xian can and will certainly have sex before marriage - but then call you a slut for having sex - hypocrisy reigns.
If a young earth creationist who believed in talking snakes asked me out, I'd probably back away slowly but I've dated quite a few moderate Christians. It was rarely an issue, and I enjoyed the challenge of secretly planting seeds of doubt which eventually deconverted them. My fiance still went to church every week when I met him.
I think it really depends on the personality types of the two people, and how seriously they take their belief or lackthereof. I can't imagine a militant atheist and an evangelical working out together, but I suspect a laid back cafeteria Christian and an agnostic atheist who either don't talk much about religion, or who enjoy talking about religion and can manage to do so without arguing probably have a shot.
I've dated a few moderate Christians in the past and they are much more tolerable than fundamentalists, but they have always been the type of guy who hasn't or doesn't care enough about his beliefs to look deeper into them and conclude that they are wrong. Or, maybe they have but they were too afraid of being a social outcast. Whenever I started talking about religious issues they all quickly changed the subject and would become non-responsive to anything else I'd have to say about such issues and I knew that those relationships were all inevitably doomed.
Whenever I started talking about religious issues they all quickly changed the subject and would become non-responsive to anything else I'd have to say about such issues
That's exactly how my boyfriend was the first year we were dating. I agree he either didn't care enough about his beliefs to look deeper or he was afraid to. For a while I avoided the subject as best I could but eventually I figured out how to drop subtle little faith grenades here and there without his shield going up. Then after a healthy dose of Sagan and youtube, his faith crumbled. 5 years later, he's a happy godless heathen and I've decided to keep him.
That's rather encouraging to hear, Jewelz. That could become a societal trend in conversion to rationalism. After all, you don't get much more personal than a romantic relationship. It's a hope anyway, and I don't see it going the other way, with the atheist reconverting or staying quiet, especially if/when they have a child.
As for myself, it's hard to say. I haven't dated a theist since high school, and while that was rather turbulent, partly due to my apostasy, I think I'd give it a chance if the person really interested me. I live in the bible belt, so honestly it's not so easy being picky, as we're already a minority. But the person would have to be open minded, or I couldn't see it going very far.
I have a fundamental attraction to people who are logical and reasoned. That excludes most religious people.
Ive tried dating dumb and it doesnt get past a date or two.
I've tried internet dating a few times. If I describe myself as an Atheist, I get zero, zip, nada, no responses. If I describe myself as "Spiritual but not religious", I get at least few responses.There are very few women (approximately less than 0.1%) who describe themselves as Atheist or Agnostic.
From my side, if I see a woman's profile that says she believes in God and goes to church every Sunday, I won't even consider meeting her.
I think I'd find it difficult to be honest to date someone who was religious, and I think that would be the case for a number of reasons.
One being that I doubt I would be too attracted (long term) to someone who I felt was narrowminded and wilfully ignorant. Harsh words I know but that is how I generally do view the religious. Another major factor being that my own argumentative nature, and my love of debating about the evils and nonsense of religion.... Well to make it clearer, I doubt any religious partner of mine would be able to put up with me for too long.
I feel exactly the same way. No religious partner of mine could ever tolerate me. I'd crush their little delusional heart.
I have been with my wife now for 12 years in total (married for 7). She would describe herself as spiritual and I would describe myself as a devout atheist. We have occasionally spoke about religion/beliefs/god and usually agree to disagree and leave it at that. Its something that would never come between us, she knows how I think and vice versa. Maybe its to do with where we are, as most people in the country I live are far more open minded than in certain parts of the US.
If my circumstances were different, I certainly wouldn't object to dating a religious person, except posssibly the extremists/fundamentalists as I also find intelligence attractive.
Never.My last gf was buddhist and she used to pray before we went to sleep. I found it painful to watch. Buddhists can have sex before marriage though so that was a bonus!
To whom was she praying? As far as I knew buddhists didn't have to believe in gods, although buddhism itself doesn't preclude such a thing.