I've been wanting to ask the men of TA this question for a while, but couldn't come up with the right wording to make it sound right....

So.....fuck it. I'm just going to ask you straight out.

How do men see women?

(Example) If you meet a new female co-worker, do you automatically categorize the woman as being like your wife, girlfriend, mistress, daughter, or some other female in your life? Do you then treat her accordingly?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm about to do something totally crazy. I'm entering a field where I may be working with ALL men. Less than 1% of women in this field. Why? Because I'm a crazy girl.....so. I need to know from a guy's perspective how to relate with them. I'm used to the "corporate world," and I can play that game. I'm also familiar with law enforcement, where things are a little rougher, but there was still plenty of women that I worked with. But I've never been the ONLY woman, (or one of the only women.) Maybe I'm freaking out over nothing....very possible. But, for what it's worth I thought it would be fun to discuss how men see women. And, any advice you guys have would be welcome. I'm fearful of men right now, but I know it's an irrational fear. I know that. But the opportunity I have in front of me could put me in the 6 figure range income-wise. I'm willing to do what it takes to overcome this. Any help/advice is welcome.

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Pope B., quit your single explanation (peer pressure) before you get into trouble for ignoring other causes.

I guess the other causes just don't bother me so much. Bring it on!

Now I'm thinking maybe I was just missing your humor. Sorry, if that's the case.

PB, your reply had me wondering if you're a masochist. 

don't women pay a hell of a lot more for appearances than men?

Not necessarily.  Though men will spend less on their own bodies, they often are pressured to buy fancy stuff to impress the ladies.

Well, I spend a lot of my time working only with women in my current fundraising job. Three quarters of the time I'm the only man among five or six women. Our male supervisor's shift overlaps mine by only about an hour.

My answer is that, no we don't, though it might depend upon the field. Working among female nurses, I'm told, can be rough for a male nurse. Apparently female nurses see nursing as a woman's job and would like to keep it that way. That might cause the male nurse to do some pondering.

U, your mention above about the uses of sexuality by women hit the bullseye, as would a mention about the uses of money by men -- assuming the required attractiveness or wealth.

Your remark about female nurses seeing nursing as a woman's job and wanting to keep it that way brought me a couple of chuckle-worthy memories:

1. The woman I was dating who, as mealtime neared, chased me from her kitchen.

2. The elderly woman at a public library film viewing who (when the projectionist, a woman, delayed the viewing when the projector balked) told a woman friend, "That's what she gets for doing a man's job!"


This is an interesting question. I'm studying to be a Medical Assistant. 90% or more of the students in my classes are female. So far, I just want to be myself and don't care much about making impressions. But I'm not trying to attract anyone, unless they're more interested in what's inside the package. (I do see a lot more vanity in others than myself, male and female, which is the far end of the I-must-appear-like-blah-blah spectrum.)

I guess I'm weird.  I see women as the source of the most exquisite joy a man may experience and as such, deserving of the utmost respect and equality.

Brownie points! Brownie points!

ask the men

Men is here!

How do men see women?

Very good question. For me it is a mixture of their intelligence, body, and presentation. I know it sounds sexist but I can't help enjoying a well presented woman with a nice body. Here's the redeeming part: even a small sliver of intelligence demands far more respect and interest from me than anything else.

If you meet a new female co-worker, do you automatically categorize the woman as being like your wife, girlfriend, mistress, daughter, or some other female in your life?

No. What an odd thing to do... Is this what women do with their male co-workers?

Any help/advice is welcome.

Considering your past experience with correctional facilities and your obvious intelligence, I'm sure you will be able to handle a workplace full of men. Get past the initial "There are no girls in X field" mentality/comments and if you are able to perform your duties you will just become another co-worker.

@Kairan - In response to the post you deleted. I would start with your local/state employment/unemployment agencies to see if some educational assistance is available. You might find some help through the educational institutions as well. Also, in your job search, pay special attention to companies who provide financial assistance to employees pursuing education. It might even be worth it to take a job that pays somewhat less if the do provide assistance. Finally, if you can get any kind of job at an educational institution, I believe they generally have fairly generous assistance if only in terms of discounts on course fees.


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