Hello, this is my first discussion. Sorry for the grammar.
Lately i have seen that death is a big concern for most of atheists and that annoys me. I have a lot of trouble in my life since i am a very detached person, i find difficult to maintain a social contact with best friends once they get out of my interests. Once someone is no longer in my life i don't find useful to even talk with them.It does not mean that i will not say hi or engage in a talk.
So it comes my main point. What is the point in celebrate any form the death of someone. To be honest i have been debating in my head all the the time if i even want to be remembered. I think that funerals are like religions, you get used to regret the death of someone and do that by tradition.
Have you ever thought on all the dinosaurs that have died, do they celebrated funerals and buried they brothers? they didn't because it don't have sense.
So, post your answer!!!
I find it sad that you don't love anyone enough to miss them when they're gone.
So.. what is love?
I think that every person defines what is love. You find it sad because you are used to find it sad. Every person told you that death is sad and you believe it. For me, funerals are a lot of people around the corpse of what used to be a person.
I do love people, but that don't mean i have to overdo their death. And yes, i don't miss.
Actually, missing someone when they are absent is a good definition of love.
I think that to love someone is to be honest, to respect and to care for her or him, among several other things. Missing is more like be dependent on that person.
Surely missing someone means that you used to enjoy having them in your life, and now they're not there, so you don't like it. That's not necessarily the same as dependence.
I think that to love someone is to be honest, to respect and to care for her or him, among several other things.
That doesn't characterize the kind of love we call romantic love, which tends to be obsessive and often selfish (wanting the person to oneself and wanting to block the advances of any others).
Missing is more like be dependent on that person.
I would miss my daughter when she was little, but it had nothing to do with depending on her for anything.
How old are you?
We are certainly not the only mammals who mourn over the loss of a family member. It is entirely normal for mammals to experience grief.
As to friendship, is it wise to base your affections and platonic interactions with another human being solely on one's own interests. That seems to be a narrow-minded course of action. Some of the most interesting people I have ever known had nothing in common with me necessarily.
I think you raised several different points, so I'll just address the first about why death is feared.
I believe that death is feared largely because, even if we are all atheists on this site, most of us were subjected to institutionalized fear mongering (eg religion). As children, we were taught to fear many things, not the least of which is eternal damnation (for the non-Judaic monotheisms).
People also live in fear of constant surveillance, and how creepy is that? A person may discover that they are an atheist, in fact certainly does discover they are an atheist before they have undone all of this institutional abuse, such as irrational fear. It's an under recognized variety of PTSD.
Fear of religion et al may be rational or irrational. If you're a homosexual in certain parts of Africa, your fear of being burned alive by religious fundamentals is actually well placed. When Iran gets nuclear weapons, we would all be well served to fear a thermonuclear, apocalyptic theocracy.
On a totally different note, why don't you try and stay in communication with your friends?
First is have to say that i am a little weird...
Fear to death is ok. What i think about the overdo of death is that human is selfish. Why we dont bury our pets or persons that are not in our family?. We bury something because we think it i important to express and as a sense of perpetuation of presence. When we die, we are no longer here, same if they put fire on me or if they bury me. Then why we pay so much attention to the death of someone?.
It is because we are selfish and have a vacuum sense of being important and perpetual. Human should be more humble.
I have some friends, but i find almost all people incompetent at social respect, i find people hypocrite.I am very social and can engage conversation with any person easily, but also i can feel the real intentions of people immediately.
I do have friends, and a friend who i have remain contact for years, but he is only one. Also i have girlfriend of years too. I live far from my parents but i also keep contact with them. I live alone and like it.
...such as irrational fear. It's an under recognized variety of PTSD.
Andy, this irrational fear may be the hyper-alertness that according to some sources is the mildest of the four stages of PTSD. I didn't identify it as such until I reached my seventies and read about PTSD.
I grew up in a sometimes violent home, and for all of my adult life my hyper-alertness has provided me with energy.
Until I was in my forties this energy resulted in distrust and cynicism. I became politically active and began using the energy constructively. A couple of therapists agreed.
In a recent email to some shipmates with whom I was in the Korean War, I wrote that I now laugh when I say I had PTSD before I went to war.