Hello, this is my first discussion. Sorry for the grammar.
Lately i have seen that death is a big concern for most of atheists and that annoys me. I have a lot of trouble in my life since i am a very detached person, i find difficult to maintain a social contact with best friends once they get out of my interests. Once someone is no longer in my life i don't find useful to even talk with them.It does not mean that i will not say hi or engage in a talk.
So it comes my main point. What is the point in celebrate any form the death of someone. To be honest i have been debating in my head all the the time if i even want to be remembered. I think that funerals are like religions, you get used to regret the death of someone and do that by tradition.
Have you ever thought on all the dinosaurs that have died, do they celebrated funerals and buried they brothers? they didn't because it don't have sense.
So, post your answer!!!
Very often we don't think about what we say and what we mean. Miss is not a complex word like love, the meaning of miss (according wolfram alpha) is:
1 | verb | fail to perceive or to catch with the senses or the mind
2 | verb | feel or suffer from the lack of
3 | verb | fail to attend an event or activity
4 | verb | leave undone or leave out
5 | verb | fail to reach or get to
6 | verb | be without
7 | verb | fail to reach
8 | verb | be absent
9 | verb | fail to experience
10 | noun | a young woman
11 | noun | a failure to hit (or meet or find etc)
So, it points out more to dependence than what everybody here is saying, love someone is different from missing him.When you say i miss Mikey you are really saying that Mikey is absent of your life and you would like him to be with you. In the same situation you could say, i love Mikey, then the meaning changes a whole, and may implies that you miss him depending on what you mean by love.
Mmm.. but i didnt say that missing someone is the same to be dependent on him. I do think that missing someone is very near to be dependent, although this 2 terms could mean different things they have some similarities.
What do you think about detachment and Hindu related concepts?
i have seen that death is a big concern
Speaking for myself, I simply consider it as something that will eventually occur. I miss people when they are gone, and at some point I will be gone and none of it will matter to me.
What is the point in celebrate any form the death of someone
I don't celebrate a death. I like wakes, because friends and family can get a cathartic effect by both missing the deceased and celebrating their life. It's a form of closure. We are social animals, and it is a social event that speaks to our social and emotional needs.
Bernardo, my sometimes violent parents taught their kids that talking interferes with working, and you are describing better than I do a detachment I felt until I was in my mid-forties and started some therapy.
When I was a kid I kept out of my dad's way by reading. Fifteen years after our parents died my four brothers and sisters had a reunion. My older sister told me she hadn't liked that I kept to myself and didn't join in their activities. I had seen it VERY differently; I had disliked their rejecting me. None of us spoke of it when we were kids.
I'm living in a retirement community in which, on average, eight people die each month. Though I take part in activities, when others lament that friends had died, I am detached enough to say we will all go.
I came out as an atheist here and have asked a chaplain how to avoid the religious remembrance service. He didn't, or wouldn't, tell me.
My detachment is rational. I have found that humans are driven mostly by emotions. But emotions are a tool that nature has provided us to endure our survival, emotions can drive our actions. But nature gave us better tool, which is thinking. It seems that the brain has evolved to develop an ability to calculate things(it can calculate tons of different things) but brain development took a lot more time than development of emotions(chemically driven actions). Eventually i think that thinking will get over emotions.
As an example of this assertion i think that given enough time and circumstances any being on earth could become totally intelligent(without emotions), point that humans have not yet become totally intelligent.
Eventually i think that thinking will get over emotions.
Read up on the part the amygdala plays in our responses to events in our lives. Brains scans reveal that fight or flight happens before the brain can choose from the available opportunities for survival.
I find humor in saying my emotions direct my actions; my reason keeps me out of prison.
Have you considered that you may be psychopathic?
Psychopathy (//) (or sociopathy //) is traditionally defined as a personality disorder characterized by enduring antisocial behavior, diminished empathy and remorse, and disinhibited or bold behavior.
So.. No, i am not psychopathy. I do have feelings and act according them, i have a lot... i say a lot of empathy. Although i am very rational i have a moral by which my acts are driven independently of my way of thinking(although it cannot deviate so much).
And as i had already say. I can engage conversation with any person if i want.
If you're not psychopathic then are you sure you won't miss someone you have feelings for? It seems an odd claim.
I wouldn't because it don't have sense to have feelings for someone who i wont keep in touch anymore. I am more likely to say that i miss the past but that sound very wrong for me, i would never live in the past.
In other words, if i have feelings for someone i will not cut my relations with that person unless i am willing to (and can) stop have feelings for that person.
This is a possibility, but I would ask Have you considered that you may have psychopathic traits?
My hundreds of hours of reading and interviewing about psycho- and sociopathy persuaded me that one or the other contributes to my occasional ability to detach.
Then I saw an ability to detach in some of my mother's behavior.
Specifically, she saw the letters I'd written while I was in the Korean War as pieces of paper and asked if I wanted to keep them. They were not quality memoir but I wish I had told her I wanted them.
To begin learning about psycho- or sociopathy, google Robert Hare.
Then google workplace sociopath.