Why get married?
I've noticed that a lot of the members on this site talk about their husbands or wives.
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have 2 kids with him (one on the way). We've lived together almost 4 years. I plan on staying with him and raising my children with him as my partner but I just don't think about marrying him. I don't see the point of marriage if you're not religious. I mean isn't the reason people get married basically because of religion? Maybe for legal reasons too but I see it as much more of a religious thing.
So my question is if you're an atheist why did you (or would you) get married?
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have 2 kids with him (one on the way). We've lived together almost 4 years. I plan on staying with him and raising my children with him as my partner but I just don't think about marrying him. I don't see the point of marriage if you're not religious. I mean isn't the reason people get married basically because of religion? Maybe for legal reasons too but I see it as much more of a religious thing.
So my question is if you're an atheist why did you (or would you) get married?
Tags: marriage
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Elgaurdo Pantanvich 3 on -
BINGO, DITTO, You are so right about it all.
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Permalink Reply by Michael Sizer-Watt on -
My wife and I had a ceremony with family and friends and a humanist officiant, but we refused to allow any religious or gov't involvement at all. Therefore, despite our parents' desires for a prayer, it was a no go, and we didn't sign any documents to make it "official". Our attitude was that we're husband and wife because we choose to be, and nobody else has any say in the matter. Our parents have said "you had the ceremony and everything, so why don't you just go to a courthouse and sign the papers?" but it's a matter of principle to us. The gov't has no business telling us whether we're husband and wife in our view. We had the ceremony becuase our commitment to each other is important to us, and we wanted to have a formal gathering of loved ones to show them that it is important to us.
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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Sherman on -
Thanks. i didn't know how many legal benefits there were to being married.
this is kind of off topic but my family doesn't even recognize us as a couple because were not married. my mom even called me a single mother. which is funny because my boyfriend was a stay at home dad for the last year.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on -
this is kind of off topic but my family doesn't even recognize us as a couple because were not married. my mom even called me a single mother. which is funny because my boyfriend was a stay at home dad for the last year.
You are breaking tradition and older people frown upon that. Sounds like these comments are your mother's passive aggressive way of showing her disapproval. Marriage, as far as the actual relationship goes, changes nothing. Yet, for many, it is about their daughter being an "honest woman" or keeping with the traditional Nuclear Family mold.
An unmarried couple raising children are no different in my eyes than a married couple doing the same. The only hurdle is in the nomenclature, e.g. husband/wife versus boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/mate/babydaddy/whatever.
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Permalink Reply by Michael Sizer-Watt on
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Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. With all due respect to your mother, I find that cruel. I have a very good friend who was born before her mother married her dad, so neither of her mother's parents ever acknowledged her as their grandchild. To add insult to injury, they did acknowldge her younger sister who was born after the marriage as part of the family. She just says "eh, well, I've never really spent any time with them, so I don't really miss them" but it makes me angry every time I think of it.
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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Sherman on
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wow, that's ridiculous.
the funny thing is my parents were never married but now my mom is engaged to this born-again christian she met last year and she seems to have an entirely different attitude about a lot of things.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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A Catholic wedding he enjoys? Yikes! I was a groomsman in a full Mass wedding. It was torturous, dull, and lengthy!
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Permalink Reply by Jon Heim on -
most people who attend secular wedding ceremonies are usually too busy enjoying the union of two people to even notice God isn't mentioned.
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Permalink Reply by Bill on -
My wife and I were married by a justice of the peace at city hall. We've been legally married for 23 years now, with never any religious aspect to it. It has been a useful and rewarding social contract for both of us. I think it is all about commitment. Definitely some days I think I should be committed :)
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Permalink Reply by Dustin Hume on -
Marriage is not exclusive to the abrahamic religions. It can be seen in many cultures in many places. It is a ceremonial union to show commitment to one another. Just because people put a religious sense to it doesn't make it exclusively religious.
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Permalink Reply by Noor on -
in my world ... marriage is the only way to have sex (islam)
but
a woman will turn to a slave ... cause she will sale her self to a man
who pays the best ... that's why women here don't learn to seaport them self
she don't make a house for her self ... but she will live in her husband house under his rules
so year after year he knows how to control her turn her to a zombie
so .. I think marriage is the worse cage man ever made lol
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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In America, sometimes women are the slave owners of men in marriages.
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