Why get married?
I've noticed that a lot of the members on this site talk about their husbands or wives.
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have 2 kids with him (one on the way). We've lived together almost 4 years. I plan on staying with him and raising my children with him as my partner but I just don't think about marrying him. I don't see the point of marriage if you're not religious. I mean isn't the reason people get married basically because of religion? Maybe for legal reasons too but I see it as much more of a religious thing.
So my question is if you're an atheist why did you (or would you) get married?
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and have 2 kids with him (one on the way). We've lived together almost 4 years. I plan on staying with him and raising my children with him as my partner but I just don't think about marrying him. I don't see the point of marriage if you're not religious. I mean isn't the reason people get married basically because of religion? Maybe for legal reasons too but I see it as much more of a religious thing.
So my question is if you're an atheist why did you (or would you) get married?
Tags: marriage
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jon Heim on -
people got married way before it was considered a christian tradition. if marriage isn't for you then fine. if you live with someone for an extended of time, the state pretty much recognizes you as being married anyway. so the only question is, do you want a ceremony? my girlfriend and I are going to have a ceremony...and I'm atheist, and she's pagan.
the ceremony is about the union of people...nothing religious about it.
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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Sherman on -
But back then wasn't it more like "if you give me ten pigs I'll give you my daughter"? And marriage was a legal way to seal the deal.
I'm not trying to insult anyone or anything I just don't see the name for the label.
And I don't feel like the state does recognize us as a couple. My boyfriend has to pay child support because our son is on medicaid and he wouldn't have to do that if we were married.
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Permalink Reply by Jon Heim on
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good point, if that is the case then why not just get married? it would make things easier, and since you feel that it is just a label, get it official from the justice of the peace or something.
legal issues is really the only reason people get married anyway, christian or not.
that being said, a lot of people enjoy an official ceremony.
My pagan fiance and I are going to have a justice of the peace wed us in a little shindig outdoors somewhere.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on -
Marriage did use to be a property exchange. Women were property.
However, that does not have to be the case, and is not, in many societies. There is nothing wrong with never marrying. But, marriage in the United States is not legally considered religious. Every church and holy-man could disappear tomorrow and people could continue to easily get married.
Marriage offers many legal benefits, but some of those benefits, as Jean Marie points out, can be had without marriage.
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Permalink Reply by Kris Feenstra on -
"Every church and holy-man could disappear tomorrow and people could continue to easily get married."
You just described my dream wedding. Well, I guess the wedding part is optional in that dream.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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Haha! Yeah, my wedding was completely secular and it was wonderful. Only one guest, I heard secondhand, seemed put off by the absence of genuflection and god talk. Our mothers wanted to say prayers, but respected our desire for a secular ceremony.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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Rights of survivorship.
Legal commitments.
Tax purposes.
Power to make medical decisions.
Et cetera.
Et cetera.
It is true that people don't NEED to get married, but marriage does not have to be a religious union. There are legal and financial benefits to a marriage, which are completely secular and practical. Religion just likes to portray marriage as necessarily a religious institution (when really, in their eyes, it is a freaky three way with God).
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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Sherman on
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Thats a good point. thanks. "a freaky three way with god" lol thats awesome. I wonder what a christian would say about that.
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Permalink Reply by Reggie on
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What can they say? Have you heard Christian ceremonies? They specifically say that it is a union between man, wife, and Jesus. Besides, we know that God cuckolded Joseph by impregnating Mary. Think of the performance anxiety Joseph must have had while trying to follow God!
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Permalink Reply by Olivia Kuo on -
LOL @ your last remark :P
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Permalink Reply by Becca on -
Civil Marriage (by a justice of the peace) is legal everywhere in the USA.
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