Okay, so earlier today, I had a little discussion with a theist who just didn't seem to know the meaning of the sentence "give up, you're out of arguments!"

I used the "silver bullet" technique. (Asking him what his strongest argument was and then completely breaking it down, so all his other arguments are automatically bullpeep)

But this guy just didn't show any sign of stopping.

And after many hours of argueing and yes/no fights, it all came down to one question. He said: "Okay, suppose I'm right. Suppose you die and come before god. What are you going to say to him when he tells you that you have been a bad person for not believing in him?"

My reply was: "If god would say that I have been a bad person, I'd say he's out of his mind! I am in no way a bad person, just as you are in no way an atheist."

But now that I think about it...I actually have no idea at all what I really would say...

Just SUPPOSE that he's right (of course, he is not), and you DO appear in front of god. What the hell would you say?

Just wondering...

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I would be astounded, and a little embarrassed to have gotten the universe so wrong with all my logic and critical thinking. I would be fascinated to see that the omniscient creator of the entire universe was giving me his personal time.  I think that conversation would go something like this:


Me: Oh. My. God! I'm in heaven, this is amazing!


Me: *silence*

God: You have been an evil and wicked atheist. Explain yourself motherfucker!

Me: Evil? What do you mean evil? I was kind, generous and caring all my life! I never hurt anyone!

God: I don't fucking give a fuck how nice you were, fool! The only thing I care about is whether or not you believed in me!

Me: . . . Are. . . you serious?

God: I am THE LORD, bitch, You think I'm not serious?!

Me: Well, it's just. . . I don't understand what that has to do with being good.

God: Do you read the bible, Bret?

Me: My name's not Bret, it's. . .


Me: No, It's just. . .

God: *shoots me in the shoulder*

Me: OW! Son of a bitch! You motherf. . .


Me: No! No! I used to, but. . .

God: Well there's this passage I've got memorized. Ezekiel 25:13. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of good will, and charity, shepperds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children.  And I will strike down upon thee with GREAT VENGANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER, those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is THE LORD! When I lay my vengance upon thee!"

Me: Wasn't that from Pulp. . .

God: *shoots me 6 times* *sends my ass to hell*

Me: Wut?


The way I see it, any God who is enough of a thug to base your entire existence on whether or not you worship him, is too much of a stone cold motherfucker to even listen if I tried to explain myself to him.


"OP is a fag."

I think god punishes /b/tards worse than atheists...

Delusion mental training? I prefer watch the movie Sin City if I'm going to waste my time, no offense!
I wouldn't say anything, since he knows everything.
"You've got a LOT of explaining to do."
I agree!

If a god would exist, and would tell me that I was/am bad I would tell him (ignoring the fact that I really wasn't bad and choosing not to defend my self in front of such a 'thing'): "You're not?"


Correction... I would just think that, because he reads minds/knows everything.

Really? I am the bad one? I donated to charities of the people you let down. Where were you through all their prayers?

Really? I am the bad one?  how about all those homeless people that I stopped to feed in my life time on the streets while all the people who claimed to believe in you were busy shelling out their money to pay for a church building instead of helping man kind?

Really I am the bad one? How about all the forgiveness that I have given to those around me, yet it seemed that you could not forgive anyone that I loved no matter how much they begged you for it! You kept testing their faith, with heart attacks, and cancer, and diseases?

Really I am the bad one? Who the fuck were you again?? Please break this down to me and explain very slowly so I don't miss a thing because if you are who you claim to be, you truly have a lot of explaining to do! Starting with........

Well said.
Thank you!

The only possible thing anyone could say, of course:


"Nipples for men??!!!"


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081633/  (Time Bandits)


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