Okay, so earlier today, I had a little discussion with a theist who just didn't seem to know the meaning of the sentence "give up, you're out of arguments!"
I used the "silver bullet" technique. (Asking him what his strongest argument was and then completely breaking it down, so all his other arguments are automatically bullpeep)
But this guy just didn't show any sign of stopping.
And after many hours of argueing and yes/no fights, it all came down to one question. He said: "Okay, suppose I'm right. Suppose you die and come before god. What are you going to say to him when he tells you that you have been a bad person for not believing in him?"
My reply was: "If god would say that I have been a bad person, I'd say he's out of his mind! I am in no way a bad person, just as you are in no way an atheist."
But now that I think about it...I actually have no idea at all what I really would say...
Just SUPPOSE that he's right (of course, he is not), and you DO appear in front of god. What the hell would you say?
"Yeah, so your followers hated me, verbally abused me, and you made me fat, and put me into an abusive family, and that's just my life--you killed millions of people, you allowed millions to be killed in your name, and you made us all suffer for something an ancestor of mine purportedly did?"
"You're a huge DICK." Then I flip him off and skip merrily to hell.
I've already decided hell is gonna be more fun to live in hell anyways. Even if it's eternal suffering, hell, most of my life on earth is suffering(that is one thing Buddhists got right), and if there's an afterlife I doubt it'll be any different. And some really great writers committed suicide and are supposedly down there.
And I already mentioned that going to heaven would be hell for me. There'd be my dad's shitty side of the family, all the fundies, mormons, the crazy puritans, suicide bombers, super-religious crazies who handle snakes---I would get out of there ASAP. Unless, of course, god is going on general personality--which we already know from the Xtians that he's apparently not going on whether you're naughty or nice, but whether you believed in his zombie son or not.
And I'm sorry, I don't care if he went extinct for my sins, I don't think he ever existed, but instead was an amalgam of previous myths used by the early Xtians to try to prove that their savior was as holy/holier than previous gods/sons of gods.
Well, if a God compatible with my imagination of one exists, and wishes to have a conversation with me, a non-interventionist dude whom I arrogantly imagine to have a mind that works similar to mine, I would say:
Thanks, I'm indebted to you, now if you'd please let me rot in peace like everyone else.
If He Was the Yahweh/Allah, single dictator, obsessed with mankind, underachiever, showoff, person that they think he is, this is how it would go:
-You sure as hell do love theatrics, what's the point of this whole court theme, really? Don't you already know what I have to say? Also what's the point of religion, Satan, and flies? Really, why flies? (I would go on for days that way)
-Save it, the only thing that would excuse you is your non-existence
-Go To Hell!
-PLEAASE PLEAASE FORGIVE ME LORD!
-Ha, you guys always beg, I love it when you beg. Babay!
I always like Woody Allen's answer:
"You'd better have a good excuse."
"Just SUPPOSE that he's right (of course, he is not)"
Well...you can't rule out the possibility that there is a God completely.
But, assuming that there is a God and that I was set before him/her/it after I died and told that I am a bad person for not believing in him/her/it, I suppose the polite thing to say would be: "I'm sorry for not believing in you. I was wrong. Thanks for the [insert age here] years on Earth. Can I get your autograph?"
"Hi Yaweh! Congratulations on the excellent publicity stunt that Abraham pulled when he began writing the biblical works that were later ascribed falsely to Moses. I think that is was a brilliant stroke of luck for you that one man could vault you from "C" list obscurity in the ancient Sumerian pantheon of Gods and Goddesses from which you hail, into a position supposedly greater than the "A" list Dieties that were and are not only your Superiors, but also your progenitors. I have to say that knowing the truth about your origin means I am far more worried about your parent's An and Ninhursag than your little piss-ant pompous self. Because the fact of the matter is that if you are real, then your parents and ALL of the other truly powerful "A" & "B" list Gods and Goddesses of your origin also exist and let's face it, you will ultimately have a good ass kicking coming from them for getting so full of yourself that you allowed these early cuneiform scriptures to be propagated into the hogwash that evolved into the Christian Bible.
"So anyway Yaweh, Jahovah, or big G,... whatever you are going by these days, how about getting real with someone who knows your point of origin and your original divine station as a minor Diety of inspiration and creativity and giving me some advice? Like what sort of cow or sacrifice will your parents like at their alter? Because unlike you, THEY are some Divinities that I definitely DON'T want to piss off. Thanks G. Oh and say Hi to JC for me will ya?"
That would just about do it! If the Christian God is real, then it stands to reason that ALL of the Major Gods and Goddesses from the religion in which he originated are also real, and Abraham writing him into a position of being all powerful, is not going to fly with some of those beings!
And IF Christians were right (Not knowing the point of origin of their God or his actual family of ancient Sumerians Divinities) I believe that they would be in for quite a shock when having to learn about the actual Lords and Ladies of that ancient path and what they would think of annoying petty humans in the afterlife! "Welcome servants! Eternal what? Hahahaha,... you must have bought into that crap our upstart son sold you. Too funny! Now shut up and go peel me some grapes before I teach you what eternal pain really is all about! Hurry! Run along!"
That depends on what the god says to me, or what his intentions seem to be.
If he is anything like what the Bible describes or behaves like a Muslim, I would RUN for my life!
If he is like a buddhist or a hindu god, standing tall with half-closed eyes trying to look benign, serene and condescending at the same time WITH a stupid smile painted on his unisex face, I wouldn't mind a conversation - unless I have better things to do at the time. Again, that conversation would depend on what the god would say, because I have nothing in particular to talk about.
Exactly what Bill maher said in his documentary : "Religulous".
Preaching the gospel of "doubt", as he refers to it, kind of strikes believers with the
thought that there is nothing after death.
False hope and beliefs people have been clinging on to, over the
past decades, let's say, 2 millenia, have become so mainstream,
that they freak out when they hear it otherwise, and still try to
defend their point of view, in an attempt to make themselves comforted.
Well, to get to the point, I think i would be struck with disbelief, knowing that there
is no way the situation could ever occur when you think logically.
Supposing it would all be some sort of post-mortem dream,
i would rape every single being around me. Which is what i do in most of my dreams.
Would actually be a nice "curtain-drop" to the wonderful life i tried to lead.