As the title says..."what's your favourite question to ask a theist"?

You may have many favourites...I would like to hear from you guys about yours.

I have a personal favourite which I often use when they start spouting their spew that GOD wrote the bible at the beginning of time, he created everything....

"OK. If GOD wrote the BIBLE at the beginning of time like you say...some 14.5 BILLION, that's BILLION years ago, What language was it written in?"

Most theists I know don't even know what language JESUS spoke. It's sad really.

Another of my favourites is this one...

"Why did it take GOD 10 BILLION years to make the planet EARTH and then a further 4.5 BILLION years to make MAN?"

There's always a spewy reply of some sort or another which usually gets my goat and the theist is appalled at my outburst of laughter.

So come on you guys....let 'em have it....share your ammo with us.

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You say that Jesus is in my heart but I just have to find him? Thanks! I finally have an explanation for my chronic heartburn.

Or ... this one is for Muslims: Martyrs get 72 virgins in heaven right? How do you know that those virgins will be straight?

Great point Sky - they could be 92-year old ugly lesbians and still be virgins - if Allah has a warped sense of humor, that's what all of the suicide bombers would get!*UHkmJUfwm0R4ANrFKHS2jyJmoRHF13Bsf5ewFRdxSMCaNajbLQIZ2nJ5s4/icon_roflmao.gif

Or worse, from their point of view--a bunch of homosexual males just pantingly eager....

Who's to say they are human - they could be cockroaches - my apologies to cockroaches, and if they are human, they would, in the matter of seconds, become lesbians with machine guns.

That prompts ME to have a question - what does the Quran promise for FEmale suicide bombers? 72 horny studs?

I have a couple of questions too.

After you get those 72 virgins, and you go through them all, will you be given new/fresh ones? Is there a replacement policy? A guarantee for virgin-sex every time? Do I have to die again to get new virgins? Do they have self-replacing hymens? Do you have to marry each one first to have sex? Are they killed for having premarital sex? Are you only allowed to do oral and anal in order to preserve their virginity? Do you have to share your virgins or does every man get their own pack? Do they all look the same? What if you want to fuck your dad's virgins? Can you trade or request other models? What ethnicity will they be? Can you pick and chose which height, weight, skin color etc you want your virgins to be? Is breast-size adjustable? Can they get pregnant? Do you have to use protection? Do the usual rules apply during sex or can I get freaky? Can I upload sex tapes to the internet? Do they have broadband?

Any muslim care to answer?

If they'll do ATM, I'm in. Where do I blow myself up?

Speaking of freaky acts, when they say "virgin" do they mean actual real virgin girls, or do they come with the pre-programmed knowledge of an old whore? We all know how lame sex with a virgin is, so do you have to teach each of 72 virgins everything from the beginning? I want a girl who knows her way around a penis. In fact, don't give me virgins at all, give me 72 sluts. I don't want to give some virgin girl my dick for a handjob and have her end up punching my ballsack. Also, I know they don't accept gays into muslim heaven, but is it ok if I enjoy a little anal stimulation? Does it have a catch though? Do I get a 50%-orgasm penalty, or do I still get the full benefits of a real muslim man? If we are allowed to do atm, can we do chains? I recently saw this movie "the human centipede," and I want to try a 73 person centipede. By the way, are the virgins just sex drones or actual real women with feelings and minds of their own? Do I have to buy them flowers on valentine's day? All 72 of them? Do I have to call them after sex? How long can an erection last in heaven? Do you get exhausted from sex in heaven? Because if not, I could just edge like a million times and then explode into a spermacular big bang with the orgasmic force of a thousand suns.

So many questions and I still have more. Come on you abu-whatevers. Answer!

Or are these virgins just virginal spirits? What a letdown!

@Unseen - Can Ii watch?!!! Can I? Can I?

I want to put it on YouTube, it should go viral, or maybe I'll open my own site, just for your video - I'll call it, "YouBoob" --

Don't you know? All muslims are straight. But, I wonder if there's a guarantee that the virgins are muslims? I mean, Islam doesn't have a corner on that market.


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