It was my second semester in college, i was talking with a classmate while we sat on the floor; i was with legs close to me and wide open.Out of the blue, a girl coming out of class sits between my lap. Neither of us knew the girl, we stared at her expecting to either say or do something. After a few minutes, she moves from such an intimate position to a less crotchy area within my legs until we decided to leave.
Destiny would make us meet for a couple of years, sometimes taking classes together, that always ended in her being rejected or ignored. Not for the action above described, though.
I am an occupational therapist. I was working with a woman who had Parkinson's disease and a particularly awful kind of dementia that left her alternately confused and then paranoid and confused. I was assisting her to use her walker to get to the bathroom.
As she got close to the toilet she became unable to complete the turn in either direction. She said, "Tell me a toilet joke." I did the best I could, telling her my favorite joke which happens to have the word 'ass' in it. She completed the turn, sat down, had a good belly laugh, and died right in front of me.
Although the staff later teased me that I needed to get better jokes, the woman's daughter was very grateful that her mother literally died laughing.
I certainly don't mean to discredit Diane's story - when my time comes, I hope she can PM me a joke - but Witchy Woman, above, has more stories than the Brothers Grimm - she has been all over the world from Addis Abbaba to Zanzibar, done all kinds of strange things with people of different cultures, climbed mountains, canoed rivers, and my guess is that if she weren't so modest, she could keep us entertained for days.
Diane, that is a great story!
I love it.
Thanks, guys! One of those things that makes you say, "Hmmm."
Spent a day living without my eyesight as part of a job I once had. Very different experience.
I went out with a girl I was enamored of just out of high school, I had an absolute crush on her and worshipped the ground she walked on. I thought myself unfathomably lucky that she would even consider going out with me.
On our first date to the movies, as I was sitting down, my hand fell on hers--not too hard--but as we were sitting down, my hand was on her hand and she exclaimed in pain. I asked her what happened and she showed me that her fingernail had been pulled off!!!!! I apologized like crazy, and offered to take her home or to the hospital, but we ended up just seeing the movie.
A few days later, we were on another date, went to a nice outdoor restaurant and while we sat, my foot bumped into hers and the same kind of thing happened to her toe! I was totally freaked out at the fact that we searched and found her painted toenail on the ground, slightly bloody toe sticking out of her sandals. I swear that we just brushed against each other. We sat and talked about it and I think she had some sort of vitamin deficiency that made this unfortunately possible.
A couple weeks later, we went to a Thompson Twins concert at a place called the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago. There were no seats there, you stood to watch the band. We were underaged, but they did serve beer there and the floor was reminiscent of a frat party in a basement, beer and mud and general grossness. You had to worry about slipping if you danced a little too vigorously.
We are there for a few songs, it was a fun band and we are dancing in a crowd where everyone was dancing as well. The guy that was in front of her made a move she didn't anticipate, and she bumped up against his back with her face. It was just a casual bump, again, nothing crazy and he definitely didn't do it on purpose and turned and quickly apologized.
When she turned to me though, her face looked different, like how people look when they change the type of glasses they wear. It turned out that a piece of the cartilage in he nose had dislodged and fallen onto the beer/mud floor. She explained that she had been in a car accident a few weeks before and that the doctor told her cartilage was supposed to fall out at some point, she didn't even really have a bloody nose. I looked down at the slimy concrete and asked her if she needed me to find it.
She said no, and she wanted to stay to see the rest of the concert, so we stayed and danced on her nose the rest of the evening.
We broke up a few days after that. It was difficult just to get over the events that just kept happening. Also, this coincided with the airing of the miniseries "V" which was about reptilian aliens putting on fake human skins, and I was thoroughly convinced that she was not of Earth (even though I knew her for several years before from school).
Like Cesar's story though, she kept on popping up in my life over and over again. I started working at a Home Depot like store a year or so later and heard her voice over the intercom. It turned out she worked there. I went to college a couple of years later, passed her in the quad on the way to classes. At that point she was an enigma of my past, I basically feared her. It turned out she lived in my dorm, in fact on my floor. I even encountered her while in a line at the grocery store in a city 300 miles away from all of these other places. Perhaps she has a Douglas Adams like story of a guy she went out with that stalked her everywhere, but I never knew that she was in those places until she popped up.
I half expected you to end the story with a trip to a motel, at which, as she undressed, you said, "When you get to the part I came here for, just toss it over here --"
Ok, Everybody, boo me --
My stories are not that salacious, at least not this one...