A horse walks into a tavern and sidles up to the bar. The barman asks, "Why the long face?"
A hamburger walks into a tavern and sidles up to the bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here"
What holds its arms out horizontally and spins around?
Jesus in a mircrowave
Two peanuts were walking down the road. Even though one was an atheist, the other one was assaulted.
Hitchens once said "if you gave the Reverend Jerry Falwell an enema, he could fit in a matchbox".
Any psychology/ist jokes?
Two behaviorist psychologists get on an elevator. One turns to the other and says, "You're fine. How am I?"
Three statisticians go hunting (yeah, like that ever happened).
After a long day of not finding any game, one of them spies an elk and takes a shot. It goes over his back. Another statistician takes his shot. It goes under the beasts belly. The third statistician jumps up and down chanting "We got him! We got him!"
What are the odds on that happening??
Two Hollywood lawyers bump into each other on the street corner. “Hello” they lied to each other.
Two psychologists pass each other in the hallway one morning.
The first psychologist says: "Good Morning."
The second psychologist thinks to himself: "I wonder what he meant by that?"
What's the difference between a snow man and snow woman?
Why can't you hear rabbits fuck?
They have cotton balls.
Why do hunters make better lovers..?
They always go deep in the bush, always shoot twice and always eat what they shoot.
Did you hear about the two does who wanted to have some fun?
They went to the Elk's club and blew twenty bucks.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
As if the others weren't already NSFW...
What's the difference between pussy and parsley..?
No one eats parsley.
What do you get when you cross a theist with an atheist?
A cat fight ...