Deconverts - What part of Christian culture do you miss the most? Is there a worship song or hymn you find yourself humming? Do you miss the after church coffees and potlucks? Do you get sentimental about an author or children's book?
I realize there is plenty to NOT miss, but for those who were in the faith longer than out, I'd be very happy to hear about the cultural soft-spots you have since leaving the faith.
This is an interesting perspective. I never got too hung up on God's fairness. I had "only God can judge the heart" hammered into me - which wasn't all bad. I also was pretty big on allowing and figuring out God's will - which of course meant that sometimes shitty things happened, but it was still okay if God wasn't fair, because ultimately God's Will was evident. I did a lot of soul searching but never out and out questioned. This is where personality greatly factors into the faith experience.
Often believers circled their wagons around those who questioned - as a means of smothering them with Love. Probably better you didn't get smothered because being an outsider always helps a person make that last step out.
and good point about the cherubs - whoever invented them was clearly disturbed.
I also was pretty big on allowing and figuring out God's will
I hear that often from believers and ex-believers alike. I guess I felt more loyalty to animals and people around me than I did to God. I never had an interest in following His will. In fact, I remember being intent to change His will regarding certain injustices, if only I could talk with Him a little and set Him straight. Ah, the egocentric nature of children!
I'd have to say I miss the youth group part t he most, too, but I wouldn't be in that anymore so... nothing.
But it was pretty great having a community of people like that. Plus I was friends with the youth pastor (still am) and we would jam on the church instruments after and watch bad sci fi movies on the huge projector. It was definitely a good time living in the no where hick town I lived in.
Wow! This is an amazingly fresh story! I know what it is like to be estranged from family to varying degrees - sometimes self-inflicted to avoid drama. Time helps - but I know saying that doesn't matter when it is so new. I went cold-turkey on my church friends - I missed them a little but slowly cobbled together other support systems. Still figuring that out - church-less (and less family) support systems. Thank you for sharing this Will! I hope you search for and find support outside the faith, family and church.
I love to sing and was part of the school choir in a Christian school and a church band. I still find myself singing Christian songs and even about to pray when I'm in fear or worried. But no it's not a "sign"! Lol