This question is mostly directed towards the atheists (as I know we have some non-athiests amongst us).
(FYI for the religious, atheists tend not to get married in churches but in a registry office or City Hall etc)
I'm not specifically talking about gay marriage, just marriage in general.
Would you get married? Or have you got married for the legal privileges that go along with marriage and perhaps as a gesture of love to a special person. Maybe you are one of these people who feel as long as you are together thats all that matters?
Personally I am all for marriage as a romantic gesture and the legal benefits are just a really great bonus that go along with it.
A castle? That sounds so awesome!
I know right !!! http://casaloma.org/ Is the place. No Christian could ever tell me a church would be nicer... Nope; I win this battle lol :)
Of defo, that really looks amazing. Congrats btw
I think that the meaning and value in marriage has gone down a lot for young people (teens) because they think that they're so in love, rush things, get married and have kids and end up going through a terrible divorce because they weren't mature enough to handle being a grown-up. I've heard a girl saying that she totally loved a guy one day, then the next she said she hated him. I think that intangible things, like marriage, "love" and "hate" are being used so loosely and often that they've lost lots of value.
(There I go again, getting off topic and ranting ;) )
I agree, I think that people definitely need to be an unmarried couple for a few years before making such a commitment.
I can't quite agree with you Milly - I don't think you're off-topic at all, and I've seen enough rants to know one, and that's not a rant.
It may be said that women began coming into power when they were constitutionally given a right that should have always been theirs, the right to vote, but I maintain the REAL power came about during WW II, when so many men were overseas and women had to fill their places in the work force and in defense industries - there, women learned that they didn't have to remain June Cleavers, but could get a job and earn a wage. That's where the real empowerment began.
I suspect, and I have no stats, but I'll bet they're out there, that that's when the divorce rate began to rise, when women threw off their yokes and walked away from marriages that weren't working.
Unfortunately, the increase in the divorce rate sets a pattern for youth who grow up in broken homes. At some point, divorce is so prevalent in society that few young people actually believe they will have a lasting marriage.
But the REAL solution is not sticking it out in a miserable marriage, but rather what you suggested, getting to know your potential spouse and making sure that you want to enter into a lasting relationship before taking that final step.
I like marriage for the legal benefits, the pomp and the circumstance, the tradition. As an atheist, swearing your eternal love before a deity has absolutely no bearing on me. I would rather get married by a judge or other person qualified to perform the ceremony in the least religious way possible. I also believe anyone should be able to get married, or enter into a "civil union" with another person, if they believe they are ready to make the commitment. If half of a homosexual couple goes into a vegetative state, and has no chance of coming out or of survival, I absolutely believe their better half should be able make decisions on their behalf. Not being able to is discrimination, as far as I'm concerned.
Waste of money. Just another cash flow for registries/church..
I'm married - because it was the easiest way to live in the same country than my husband.
If there was no benefit such as immigration or tax benefits, being married would be way less trivial at least for us.
Then again, I kind of like being a mrs, and his last name is definitely cooler than the one I had before. And because it's kind of romantic to be married too. (note: completely civil thing in the city hall, a 15 min speech/procedure with hands on law book, nothing religious).
I wrote several entries in my ERCP blog comparing the benefits and hazards of legal marriage and of commitment by cohabitation. The texts are long, so here is the links: