This question is mostly directed towards the atheists (as I know we have some non-athiests amongst us).
(FYI for the religious, atheists tend not to get married in churches but in a registry office or City Hall etc)
I'm not specifically talking about gay marriage, just marriage in general.
Would you get married? Or have you got married for the legal privileges that go along with marriage and perhaps as a gesture of love to a special person. Maybe you are one of these people who feel as long as you are together thats all that matters?
Personally I am all for marriage as a romantic gesture and the legal benefits are just a really great bonus that go along with it.
Well I don't think you have to say the "Till death do us part" part.
I also find the "til death do us part" an impossible promise to make.
My fiance and I have joked about changing it to "for at least a few years, and then as long thereafter as mutually desired."
I'm a fan of marriage. My husband and I are about to celebrate our 4th anniversary in a couple of weeks. I personally am happier being married than being single. But I know that many people don't feel the same way. There are lots of people who like to date, or who are polyamorous, or who feel like they don't need a ceremony or paperwork to make their relationship more meaningful. John and I got married while we were still Christians, and our wedding ceremony was very religious, so being married was important for us, socially, legally, and spiritually. If we did it over now, the ceremony would be a lot different. But I do appreciate the legal benefits that marriage provides, as well as just the feeling of security. One of my best friends, however, was married, had a child, got divorced, but still lives with the guy because they are madly in love. They have a great relationship and little family, it's just that marriage doesn't work for them. So I think that if marriage is what you want and is best for your relationship and family, then go for it. If it isn't, then don't.
My wife and I (both atheists)got married. I fully agree that marriage is not needed to have a lasting and committed relationship. Marriage is for some people and not for others. It's not a necessity, but I respect that it feels like the right thing to do for some people. In our case, we did it as a symbol of our love, and taking my surname made my wife feel even more a part of the family. We designed our own secular ceremony, and it was really quite beautiful. To me, it's all down to the individuals. Don't see the point? Great! Don't get married. But if you like the idea, I see no reason atheists can't or shouldn't get married. It isn't an inherently religious construct after-all.
hahaha, good one. :)
I guess I never listed my surname here, just so TA didn't turn up when perspective employees googled my name. Sadly, that could still stand in the way of getting a job here...
Was it the Irish who had a one year trial period after which the marriage could continue or dissolve? I think that's a nice way to go about it.
No, I'm from Ireland and we defiantly don't have that here. You have to file for a divorce of annulment and its not a quick process.
Marriage is great when that is what the people involved want and what works for them. Marriage like many other things isn't for everyone. I'm not married right now due to financial reasons. After I'm done with grad school (if I even get in next year) my partner and I will likely get married because that will be for us and our future the most logical thing to do.
I married a third time and found the right one, where our individual hangups dampen each other's without amphlifying. I a maturing humanist/atheist, she a newage spiritual humanist. Our indivdual beliefs do not cross terribly, but I would allow less as 'truth' due to my metaphysical/intellectual commitments.
It just seemed to be a way to create a legal frame work/construct for common and individual assets and keep our families on the same page.
It has worked.
We had considered not marrying, but too much was needing some protection.
We both support the extension/protection of marriage for LGBT folks, and have voted and been involved with activism accordingly. We both continue to be vocal for LGBT rights.
Our present economy has strained our relationship, but we are very much both on the same page. We do seem to have different attitudes to 'money', which makes it interesting..;p)
My husband and I were married about 5 years ago. We never thought that we would be allowed to marry because of the religious right. We decided to marry purely out of the legal benefits that go with being married . I am just wary now. Now that we are registered as gay married, I fear that when the governments go religious in the coming years that we will be ripped out of our homes and killed. But that is just society has led me to think, other than that I am pretty happy.