I only attend church for weddings and funerals now. Even then I cannot even bring myself to sing the hymns. A few years ago, my cousin died and I attended the funeral but didn't open my mouth. My sister-in-law noticed and said to me afterwards "I noticed you didn't sing or say any prayers" I told her that I didn't see the point when I didn't believe in any of it. She said "But you didn't even say the lords prayer! I repeated what I had already said and she started to cry! I asked her why she was crying and she said "It's because I feel sorry for you!" I told her to save her sympathy for someone who needed it because I didn't! We get on very well, in fact they are visiting us at this moment from Cornwall until Monday.. unless the snow gets worse and they are stuck here!
I like to go to the Cathedral on Christmas and listen to the music and get a whiff of incense.
I usually stand in the back, so I don't have to kneel or go through any of those motions.
Of course I daydream, a lot like when I go for a walk.
It just puts me in a different frame of mind and besides where is one to go to see so many people dressed so nice?.
I like the newer custom of turning to the people around you and shaking their hand and wishing them "Peace."
Now, if we could do that with Iran and Afghanistan, that would be wonderful, but exactly who attacked whom?
I use the "god only knows" language too.
So what I have done to change my sinnin' ways is to start putting in Francis Bacon and FSM into every one of these phrases. "Bacon only knows" "Bacon Damn you!" "For the love of FSM!" Bacon works both ways, as I am fat(and one of the going jokes is that fat people are all hewn from hollowed-out pig carcasses by bacon-worshipping gnomes...yeah, it's a weird joke, but it makes me laugh), and I like Bacon!
Next is that I'm a writer and it's way too fun to screw with biblical characters like they're my own personal playset rather than try to deny their existence. I currently have Lilith with multiple grandchildren who can asexually reproduce via the use of their own body parts, Cain was banished to the nearby Vampire City, one of the first cities, and now lives there with a vampire bride. And Adam is just a douchebag who likes to claim that he's the first man on the planet, when there's plenty of immortals who remember him as a stupid teenager. The long lifetimes recorded in the bible are due to scribes who aren't quite so great at math. It's just too fun to treat it like any other mythology, especially since it's most well-known characters often have super-huge gaps in their lifetime.
Other sins include a general love of the trappings involved with religion. Gold-embroidered cover with verses from the Koran for the Kaaba? SHINEY. Candles and chanting and raised hands? PRETTY. Pagan Altar complete with burning candles and incense? DUDE. They look nice, but they mean nothing to me. Of course, if you put me in a church or on the hajj, I'd have panic attacks because I really don't like crowds or people. IRONY.
Let's see...what else....buying delicious fried chicken from Chick-fil-a, and owning a box of cross necklaces from my goth/SuperChristian days.
There. How many Hail Marys?
My sin is not always coming out and telling people I'm an Atheist. Occasionally going to church for the social interaction for my daughter, etc. After all, they say any religious person that's happier than a non religious person is happy because they have friends at church and for no other reason.
I especially like the "Carol of the Bells".
Just joined, first post.
My grave, Atheist sin... I have my girls enrolled in a Lutheran pre-school. I confess, it was convenient, and its only one year - I survived 20+ years of Catholicism and escaped to this garden of rational freedom... so one year wont hurt. Though I was pretty concerned in their first week, they had learned that god created everything!... and then relieved when that was followed by, "its ok daddy, we know that you and mommy created us, your like our god!"
My more delicious sin, is that I looked forward to volunteering to help drive the Lutheran "school bus" on a class field trip! (Mission accomplished). I am enjoying my decietful undercover atheism gaining high favor and appreciation from the school.
Oh, and I do enjoy christmas and singing christmas songs... which reminds me one further plus with the Lutheran school... the wife and grandparents (on one side) got to enjoy the kids first and likely last christmas program at school!
I held hands with my friends as someone said "grace" before a Thanksgiving dinner.
B-but I didn't say "Amen," so I'm still part of the atheist club, right?
Once in a while I pay 10$ to go see exorcism/ghosts/werewolves/superheroes at the movies :(
But I'll confess, every year they become less and less funny.
I used to exclaim 'Christ in a handbasket' constantly, although that was less a religious statement than just a quote from Bill in Left 4 Dead. I have since switched to 'By the hammer of Thor!' or 'By Odin's beard!' to confuse theists. I should begin using FSM references as well.
Sometimes I say 'damn' but never 'god damn'.
On the other hand, if someone sneezes, I say nothing, or occasionally 'May probability adhering to a scientifically predictable cycle prevent your natural selection by disease' if I can get it in quickly enough.