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Permalink Reply by Diane on June 10, 2013 at 4:02pm

The worst thing that ever happened to me while being religious didn't even actually happen to me directly - it happened to my mother.  She was abused by her alcoholic Southern Baptist lay preacher father.  

This experience affected her and, through her, my father, my siblings, and me.  I won't go into all the gory details but suffice it to say that even though I never met my grandfather his actions have profoundly impacted  my life.  I was taught that there is no god and believers are not to be trusted.  

As a teenager and young adult I dutifully rejected my parents' ideals, including atheism.  I sought belief in some kind of higher power to avoid my parents' fate.  My dad did the best he could, but my mother is not a happy person.  I thought her unhappiness came from being an atheist, especially after I encountered believers who told me that non-believers can't know joy.  

In the end I realized for myself that there is most likely no god and that I am responsible for my own happiness no matter what has happened or what will happen.  I realized my mother's unhappiness does not stem from being an atheist, but from a multitude of factors including religion-shrouded abuse.

I have told this to several Christians who have boldly asked why I do not believe.  Their responses range from, "I am sorry that happened to your mother, but that person was obviously not a true Christian,"  to "That is awful, but Jesus still loves you and wants you to believe in him."  They seem incapable of just accepting that I am not ever going to believe.  I already understand that my grandfather did not represent Christianity, but he did to my mother.  That's all that mattered.

They don't get it - it's too late.  It is not because of what I was taught as a kid, but what I found out as an adult.  If I wanted to play make-believe, I could pretend that I believe.  I could tell myself that I believed until I did believe.  I prefer to live in the real world which, in absolute defiance of the message my mother got and kept about life, I know to be a place capable of amazing beauty, compassion and love without the necessity for a supreme being.  

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Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on June 10, 2013 at 7:06pm

Thanks for sharing that story Diane. Your mother is a survivor. Religion has a way of allowing abuse to continue unchecked. People can put on a happy face and live in denial all the while people are being victimized right under their noses. It is rare that churches will step up to the plate and defend the victims of abuse. Even if the abuse gets reported many times it still gets glossed over as "no big deal because we are all sinners saved by grace." Talk about a scapegoat!!!! It makes me so mad. It makes me sick.

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