Years ago I read the bible with highlighter in hand and found it to be quite interesting at times. But after reading it and as is no surprise, I had even more questions than before. So, for the sake of clarity and some humor I began calling churches and posing as a potential convert. I asked questions in a genuine attempt to understand their reasoning for believing it or if they were even aware of what the bible contained. The responses were very interesting. To set this up, my question was this;

How was it that Noah lived to be 900 years old?

Seems easy enough and I had predicted some potential responses "God wasn't finished with him yet" but what I got was quite surprising.

One preacher responded; Well you know the O-Zone layer wasn't as bad back in those days.

Ok so what was your question and what was the worst response offered.

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RE: Evidence, There is actually an entire line of philosophy they have constructed around the "Uncreated Creator".  They call our logic a phallacy called "begging the question", where we "assume" that the creator must be proven in physical terms.  Whereupon it can be assumed that the creator would exist in a higher plane/dimension, he/she/it implicitly CANNOT be proven via physical terms.  Therefore they say our form of PROOF explicitly cannot apply, and our argument FOR proof is moot.  This, of course, overlooks the myriad physical "proofs" asserted historically in the bible, and accepted patently by it's followers.  And naturally their conclusion is that A) the only viable proof is found in logic, and that B) since we cannot comprehend the whole of space/time to explain creation, that logic leads us squarely to an extra-dimensional creator, whose identity can only be attributed to their god.  There's enough philosophical discourse there to impress the slow-witted, but clearly filled with assumption and is/ought dilemmas of the highest order.

Ok, so some nice little old lady posts on a friend's facebook status, "The bible says seven 'days' but the hebrew word just meant 'period of time' so it could be that the earth is millions of years old because that would still fit with the bible."


Not wanting to mind slam and old lady I said, "You may want to find a Hebrew and ask them so you can confirm for yourself but the word is Yom and it most definitely means day; the 'evening and morning part' is from a hebrew word for the arc from sunset to sun up, removing any doubt that 'day' was exactly what was intended."


Just 10 minutes later she replies, "No, I mean in ancient Hebrew.  Modern Hebrews don't know how to speak or read that anymore."



Yes. Only modern Christians know how to read and speak it. Always them, never you. That is the real lord's prayer. "Our Father who is in Heaven, always them, never me. Amen."

But this little old lady did? Yes, yes makes perfect sense. 


I pointed out to a religious friend of mine once that Jesus's name wasn't even was Joshua.  I got a blank stare for my trouble.
To me, the worst excuse is when they insist that they have had a personal experience that proved TO THEM that God is real.  If that's the case, and that's what it takes to become convinced of God's existence and what it wants for us, then prostelyzing and apologetics are 100% pointless.
These 10 crazy bible verses, the excuses for them are pretty amazing.
i've gotten a response where the religious says that they probably used a different scale for measuring time. which i honestly think is b*llshit but i've never really had a good response to that
They use that one a lot when they are trying to defend the position that the world isn't as old as scientists say it is.
I brought up the part where Jesus curses a fig tree to my Christian friend once and all she said was it's about prayer and when I asked how she quoted a completely different part of a different gospel and started explaining why that one is about prayer.

Any time I hear Christians talking of suffering, disease, natural disasters, persecution, their excuse for all of this (which all of you have heard) is "It's God's plan."


So it's God's plan that your child has cancer? God's plan to make you lose them early on and make you suffer for their loss? Do you feel you deserve to lose your child? (The response if they're not already throwing a fit would be "No")  I guess God feels you deserve to lose your child, seeing as it's his plan.

I agree, my mother in law died early of cancer, was an Atheist and snubbed god on her death bed.  She was the kindest person I've known.  Meanwhile, there are murderers, rapists and pedophiles that will live live long lives.  But a Christian would tell me it's god will.


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