Years ago I read the bible with highlighter in hand and found it to be quite interesting at times. But after reading it and as is no surprise, I had even more questions than before. So, for the sake of clarity and some humor I began calling churches and posing as a potential convert. I asked questions in a genuine attempt to understand their reasoning for believing it or if they were even aware of what the bible contained. The responses were very interesting. To set this up, my question was this;

How was it that Noah lived to be 900 years old?

Seems easy enough and I had predicted some potential responses "God wasn't finished with him yet" but what I got was quite surprising.

One preacher responded; Well you know the O-Zone layer wasn't as bad back in those days.

Ok so what was your question and what was the worst response offered.

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I've never really asked a question like that. But I have corrected my pastors attempt to teach astronomy. He was giving a sermon on how absolutely perfect the universe was made just for us. He said that the earth floated in the perfect spot in our solar system, and if the earth should move off course even an inch we would all burn or freeze.
I was in complete disbelief. My parents must have sensed it too sense every time I tried to raise my hand during this rant it would be ripped down by my step mother. I eventually gave up until I had to shake his hand when leaving.
That argument is as old as dirt, my mom still tries to use it every time we bring up religion, despite accepting the elliptical orbit every time, and the idea of a Goldilocks zone. Religious people seem to be chronically forgetful about how bad their arguments are.
Forget the elliptical orbit, the simple rotation of the Earth would bring points on the surface closer (and farther) from the sun than an inch. Not to mention differences in elevation. Such arguments are only made by those who have not even pretended to think about them.
It's possible he was using hyperbole.  But, yeah, even then he's kind of a tard.
I think their being "the faithful" is the worst excuse. It implies the demand that something which cannot, in fact, be known IS. That excuses every stupid thing that emanates from their persons.
I occasionally get them backed into a corner on the issue of evidence.  When I really get them nailed down on there being zero evidence, nothing physical that can ever be measured or quantified, I have been lucky enough to hear - "There are a lot of things about reality that you don't even know, how do you know that the reality you are so sure of isn't just a nightmare!?"  My response: "If it is, then you and your bible are a figment of my imagination, therefore I am your god."
I do believe I'll be stealing that one.
The set-up is rare but when the opening presents itself it sure is a doozy.  Another one is when they say evil is just a byproduct of freewill - ask them if there is freewill in heaven. :D
The lengths people will go to in order to hold onto the myth really is astounding.
When they trot this out I generally can't help but start an argument about what that phrase means and whether they even understand the nature of the problem. Because I am a dick.
Nothing beats turning there own flawed logic against them.
Good one


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