My take: I'm not entirely sure Love exists. When I consider it, and consider what people mean by the word 'Love' or when they say "I love him to death" or "I love you" ... what are they REALLY saying?
In a way, I find Love to be selfish. One may tell another 'I love you' , but in 20 years ... Those two people may end of loathing each other.
It is a combination of feelings a person feels when they meet someone that fills in their incompleteness. I think we are all incomplete emotionally and physically.
This is why in a relationship - one person can change - and the other can be negatively effected by it.
I think the love a parent expresses for their child is a strong evolutionary bond.
People mistake Great sex for Love - Affection for Love - Young girls may think they love a boy when they really just have a more immature form of a crush.
If you loved your wife - and found her banging another guy at home - why would you be mad? Wouldn't you want her to be having amazing sex? Maybe you aren't giving her what she needs physically? Is this a good thing? To be jealous? But instead the first instinct is to rip the guys head off - Possibly kill him - Out of pure rage and anger - But isn't it really jealousy? The idea that you were not able to fulfill her needs? A feeling of inferiority?
I could go into this in far more detail - But I don't think Love exists. I think it's just a combination of different emotions / feelings one has that can't so easily be interpreted - and that combination of feelings can change ...
In the end, those combinations of feelings are subjective. Love is the word put in place of the indescribable outcome of those combinations.
If you loved your wife - and found her banging another guy at home - why would you be mad? Wouldn't you want her to be having amazing sex? Maybe you aren't giving her what she needs physically? Is this a good thing?
Neah... she's a slut.
I agree with you full heartedly. Love, in its romantic incarnation, is a modern Homo sapiens fabulation. Modern romantic love is like the fluffy chick or kittten given as a xmas gift, all warm and fluffy in the beginning, something to throw away later.
I'd rather just like most decent people equally, and dislike most disgusting people equally. Is that deindividuation? One thing for sure, without love, the mafia would never have existed! A lot of the powerful link between mafia members is achieved by creating a "family bond" even among non family members and creating authority out of simple physical proximity out of kisses and hugs. Love is a tool used to separate peoples from peoples, to distinguish "a loved one" from the masses. Without love, we would also not have cronyism and knee-jerk political reactions such as: "oh my poor brother suffered so baddly, we need a law to prevent this (whatever this may be) happening ever again".
Many years ago I joined an internationalist organisation called SERVAS, where people can travel and stay at members' homes for free, for 2-3 nights only. The motto of the organisation is an antithesis of romantic and filial love: Stop wars by becoming friends with peoples in different nations, for it's harder to go to war against people you've come to know...
I much prefer having a "brotherly" love towards many humans of like mind, than a restricted romantic love, source of so much misery on this planet.
I don't know. I am 56 and have been in love with my husband since I was 18. We have been married for 32 years. And we love each other.
We are best friends, companions, comrades.
We have been through hardship together, fought bitterly at times.
We had an open marriage for a time and then stopped that because we wanted to.
We have stayed together for the sake of the children and in spite of the children.
We are each others support and comfort and I know I can always count on him to have my back no matter what and I have his.
We have been through all the sickness and health, better, bad and worse, and bankruptcy.
Neither of us has dominion over the other. We are partners rather than adversaries. He has strengths and I have other strengths. We compliment each other and are not stuck in any particular sex roles.
I know it doesn't sound sexy but we are comfortable companions. With my husband it is actually painful to be apart as we must be for work sometimes.
I guess that is my definition of a kind of love.
I love my children too. But I don't want to keep them close. I think that is a more biological love. By the time they are 18 you are ready for them to go if you are healthy. So love for your children, or parents is very different IMO.
I don't think love has anything to do with attachment or a perceived sense of need. Instead, I think it is an experience that is shared when two people come together, that is profoundly natural, mutual & unconditional on all fronts.
From my experience, love is a constant, so even when a shift in perception happens between two people that experience love, the love that is constant allows for nothing to be fixed besides itself, and those who are having the experience know this, without doubt.
I do not know if there is a universal definition of love, but if there is, I would imagine it is unconditional, expansive & profound.
Here is one example of love. When you love a child since the day she was born.
When you love that child throughout her life and then she gets to be about 19 years old, she has graduated from high school, gets a car, gets her first job, first serious romance going on, gets an attitude, and tells you to fuck off when you make a remark criticizing one of her friends.
Your heart is broken but you know without a doubt you will always love her until the day you die no matter what she does.
That is one example of love. I thought they were supposed to be coming out of the smart ass stage around the age of 19, not going into it.