Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Unseen on March 12, 2013 at 1:36pm

I don't whine if someone takes me on. I'm not always taken on politely, I might add.

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Permalink Reply by Simon Paynton on March 12, 2013 at 1:38pm

I don't see any whining, all I see is passive-aggression. 

Permalink Reply by Cara Coleen on March 12, 2013 at 1:38pm

You're not taking me on. You haven't responded to one thing I've said, aside from the post about you making sweeping generalizations. I appreciate your citations. Asking you questions is not "whining". What's your problem? Take on my arguments, not the fact I dare speak to you.

Permalink Reply by Unseen on March 12, 2013 at 1:42pm

Haven't responded? I provided a link that EXPLAINS how statistics showing that women make less don't tell the whole story. About how, for example, women who voluntarily choose to work less skew the statistics and make salary comparisons fairly irrelevant. 

It's not a very long read.

Permalink Reply by Cara Coleen on March 12, 2013 at 1:46pm

If you'll notice, THIS is a thread not related to the one where I responded to you about your sweeping statements. That's elsewhere. Can you "take on" two simultaneous discussions, or do I need to compartmentalize for you?

So... I appreciated the link and C&P job you did "over there". This is a separate discussion. I've responded to the OP here.

Permalink Reply by Cara Coleen on March 12, 2013 at 1:32pm

I mean, one minute we're too vague... and now I'm being too specific. Or too long-winded. What is YOUR purpose for being in on this discussion?

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Permalink Reply by Unseen on March 12, 2013 at 1:38pm

I just respond with what I think and what I know and sometimes what I conjecture. I don't ask myself what my "purpose" is in every discussion as if I have an agenda or objective.

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Permalink Reply by Cara Coleen on March 12, 2013 at 1:43pm

And? I guess my discussion style should exactly mirror yours.

So... engage and stop dancing around the topic. I responded to the OP appropriately. Tell me what you're "taking on". The fact I said too much, or that I said something not based in fact.

Permalink Reply by Lewal on March 12, 2013 at 4:20pm

"Sex" is kind of the default setting. Overcoming that is often perceived as maturing (and, hey, why not?) But it's difficult. I think our evolutionary forefathers still live within us, and act out through us. And it takes a good deal of commitment and discipline and will to cage them. I don't think most ever do, or do too late, assuming we're all even capable of it. It seems to me that telling a man to make sex a secondary factor in a relationship is like saying "Hey. Evolve."

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Permalink Reply by Simon Paynton on March 20, 2013 at 4:12pm

""the message" was so deeply ingrained that I thought if I didn't get those things, it meant he didn't love me. "If he doesn't ___, he's just not that into you." And, in my head I reminded myself I didn't want ___ anyway! But, the ingrained message haunted me. It told me it didn't matter; the fact my boyfriend didn't do ___, and didn't want to do ___ meant he didn't love me... " 

I believe that women naturally enjoy certain romantic necessities, such as, I don't know, a thoughtful Valentine's card, like a birthday card for your love; picking up on something she's mentioned in passing, and making sure she gets it; listening to what she wants to tell you, without trying to fix it, or minimally; those kind of things.  Why shouldn't she?  If women are built that way, then men need to think about that and try and fulfill those things which cost nothing but can gladden a woman's heart. 

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Permalink Reply by Simon Paynton on March 20, 2013 at 4:14pm

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Permalink Reply by Simon Paynton on March 12, 2013 at 12:33pm

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