Obviously, when you're the generally smaller and less physically threatening sex, you learn not to be actively aggressive.
At the same time, controlling men learn to be passive aggressive, too. They use the left-handed compliment ("You're gorgeous; I don't care what everyone says") or the guilt trip ("I know three kids are a lot to handle, but why can't I come home to a tidy house?") or the comparison ("Bill's wife makes $90K; I wish you had whatever she has!").
Truthfully it's not always about what we want as much as it it is what we need. We don't need things that are tangible. We need to be what you think you cannot live with out. We need to feel beautiful. We need to know that no matter what you will love us. That means not perfect days too. the ones were we didn't do our makeup, our hair is a tangled mess, we're in our favorite pajamas that should have been thrown out ages ago but we can't bring ourselves to do it.The days we are over emotional and annoying. Those days when you still make us feel loved even when we are crazy. We choose the bad boy for the the thrill of it. The pretty boy because we like arm candy. In the end we chose the one who is a true man. The guy who is a gentleman, intelligent and goal driven. For we played with the toys and realized what we wanted was our equal. Some one to share life and experiences with.
Maybe some things women don't want would help - here.
@Reg -,thanks for the link - as I said, there is a long way to go, but it is getting bette all the time.
@Jimmy Russell - Written by Men.
@Dustin - don't try so hard, relax, the same way as you would when meeting anybody. You choose friends, choose a woman the same way, friends first, lust later :)
@Dustin - Marriage does not chain you together forever. There is a thing called divorce, been there, done that. Have been with my partner, for over 25 years, no marriage, would not do that again. People stay together, because they want to, it is good for the psyche, it is good for them, where both people can grow, not because they have to. The other person must be worth it. Both people have to think they are marrying up. That is what partnership means, respect, loyalty, giving 100% to the relationship, give and take, that's all, and marriage certainly does not guarantee anything.
My relationship works, because we both want it to, without it being hard or compromising in big issues. We have camaraderie, friendship and lust. And that works a treat. Don't underestimate what women can or cannot do. That is the mistake being made here. Don't have men undermining what women can and can't do, and don't go with stereotypes. If women did that, all men would be sexist buffoons, and that is not true, is it?
What do you want in a woman Dustin?
You quote things about porn stars? I watched a documentary on how these porn movies are made.The head shot of a woman is completely fake? Ever watched 'When Harry Met Sally', that says it all. If you get the idea of the perfect woman from porno, and that women are/and should be up for anything - big mistake. There are men going to a psychiatrist because of their unrealistic expectations of women, especially in the bedroom, and the addiction to their perception of the perfect woman. You are doing the same thing. If you are thinking that far ahead, when you are in your sixties or seventies, you are going to miss out on so much fun and growth. Your superficiality and aggression would be a deal breaker for the majority of women. Everybody has a past, how would you deal with a woman with your past.
You both should be accepting of each others past.
Both sides have unrealistic expectations, and that is causing a real problem, especially the younger generation, and neither side will fare well.
Children are indoctrinated and brainwashed, for the role they should play in society, exactly the same as religion, girls play with dolls, boys play with cars. Girls are also taught to be 'nice', whereas boys are taught how to be rugged. That is not to say, that men and women are indeed, different, but not at the expense of women, and all they can achieve, if in the right relationship, as should men.
I don't think a man should shoulder the burden of keeping a family by himself.
I also know that I would confront a protagonist, the same way that my partner would. Both would be out of love.