This is what I need to know.  I don't want to comment, only listen. 

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Her own way.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? That's about as general as I can get.

Society gives us contradicting information on what we're supposed to want or what we're supposed to be. Not to mention we're still sorting out what it really means to be equal to men. While in the eyes of some men/women/the law we are equal to men, society's overall mentality and attitude about it has yet to change. It's not a done deal, and it won't be for years. 

From a young age women are bombarded with the ideas that to be female is to want children (baby dolls), be fashionable (Barbie/Brats), attractive (every toy/show marketed to girls), fall in love, believe we're all princesses, look for a strong man who will take care of us and protect us (practically every female love interest in a movie, including movies targeted toward men), etc. Add to that the more feminist messages that we should be independent, successful, well educated, and not expect special treatment, and no wonder a lot of women have contradictory expectations and give off the impression that they're clueless.

The grand majority of us, male or female, are not taught to be honest or up front about our expectations, wants, or desires. Many times we say what we assume the other person wants to hear because being honest is a much more frightening prospect.

My big question is why should women be expected to know exactly what they want? There's no magical guidebook handed to us at puberty, so why should men demand special privilege to know? Sometimes what we want changes, and sometimes we really honestly don't know. In no way am I obligated to have it all figured out for the sake of a man, and I'll never expect men to have it figured out either because in all likelihood they don't. It's called being human and it will never be easy.


I say throw the rules and expectations out of the window and be yourself. 

Never met a woman who didn't want a little shoulder,neck, or foot massage. And 50% more shoes. When I fix things, that goes over well...not a good cuddler here..that's always a problem

My ex liked snuggling in bed at bedtime and being in physical contact all night long, and I finally had to confess that I didn't like it. I'm what some call a cold sleeper. She was a warm sleeper. She would be sleeping under the covers while I slept on top of them. I guess the two types are ultimately incompatible. Was probably one thing contributing to the divorce. 

Exactly! The strangest things can become an big deal. When I was twenty, I once broke it off with a woman because I simply didn't like her voice. It was killing me and I became a first rate ass, instead of being honest about it. Live and Learn.

I once walked away from a rather attractive coed when I was in college because she wanted to have sex. May seem crazy, but she was drunk at the time. I'm not sure what motivated me more: the thought of taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable state of mind (who might not even remember the sex) or the mental image of taking a blast of vomit in the mouth or face at some inopportune moment. She never talked to me after that.

Actually I guess it depends on how drunk they actually are.  


I've been laughed at and ridiculed by some people (men and women) when I brought a girl home that was both drunk and willing and I put her in my bed while I slept on the couch.

Yes, I know that she was willing before she was drunk as well, and I'm sure that she would never have felt as if I was taking advantage of her. I somehow cannot overcome my carebear instinct when I'm around drunk people, and sex is probably one of the last things on my mind at times like that.

"Make money money money make more make money money money make"

I think I found you a good reference, Simon


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