Then I go to hell and burn for eternity for not kissing the butt of an intelligent 'loving' being that allows for all the horrors and depravities of the world to exist, including the ones committed against the good people that kiss his/her/its butt in the first place who also ask for help/guidance/love when these acts are committed against them, and even ask for forgiveness when it happens, even though they have no control over it happening to them, because of course the butt they kiss is perfect, so it must be all their fault. Also, the best this guy can do is say "hey, don't fight back. Don't defend yourselves. Love the guy who's brutally mutilating you. The meek will inherit the Earth someday, after all the bold and powerful somehow die off (conveniently leaving the meek untouched), so your pain and suffering won't be for naught!"
In the words of Richard B. Riddick: "Got it all wrong, holy man. I absolutely believe in God... And I absolutely hate the fucker."
---Or what Nelson said. Seriously, when did you get all the brains?
What if your wrong about God being an benevolent being? What if it turns out hes a jackass like his bible clearly tells us. Hes killed a ridiculous amount of people, hes for slavery, sexual inequality and even Moses has encouraged rape after a victory battle. What if the bible is propaganda that talks crap about Satan? Satan did not kill nearly as enough people and maybe he just wanted to overtake this tyranny to save humanity. He already gave us knowledge by convincing the once ignorant human species in hopes of us realizing this God dilemma. Although he is also shown as a lustful and greedy character. Given that, hes also been known to tempt Jesus by offering him ownership of all kingdoms. Maybe in Hell you get everything. In Heaven, its probably a very strict place where you have to follow so many rules and its just no fun at all. Just about everything fun is banned while in Hell people are playing gun tag with no death consequences, can gamble and do drugs.
What if Hell is the real paradise?
What if worst of all, you worshiped the wrong God and you get sent to hell too? Picking the right religion is hard, odds are stacked against you to pick the right one.
Then If maybe I'm wrong, I might maybe enter the better of the two realms.
Hmmm....If I get sent to Heaven and have to spend eternity with many of the so called xian people I have seen, then in my eyes, that would technically be hell. So, would I be in my hell, in their heaven, or would they really be in hell with me?
And then I make a dramatic exit and go about my business for the day.
Preferred exit would have to include one or more of the following: pit of vipers, grappling rope, mt everest, the 1984 denver broncos and/or sticking my tongue out at them followed by a loud "nah nah". :)