I want to know more about the "shunning" process in Islam and particularly towards women - to understand what they face. I am offering support to a woman who is being ostracized by her "community" because she left her abusive husband. The ex-husband's family is trying to take the kids....So I guess I'm asking from an outsider's perspective how I can be of support to her in a way that would be helpful. I also want to understand more about the Islamic teaching/practices on this subject. Thanks.

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So...does she still consider herself a Muslim?

I think she would have better chances in the American legal system if she pretended to be Christian now.

Might pretending to be Christian also add to her risk of being harmed by the family?

Problem: she has had to abandon her apartment due to the police doing NOTHING. Their hands are tied. She doesn't have "proof" of what is happening, or atleast proof of who it is except for word of mouth and suspect description of a neighbor, but it's not solid enough for police to press charges. She has seen the same car following her. But again....she's now staying with her dad and brothers (all male) and none of them support the fact that she left her husband. She has no money.

"But again....she's now staying with her dad and brothers (all male) and none of them support the fact that she left her husband. She has no money."

Reality check time...she's fucked!

But...she is better off in the USA then a lot of places she and her kids could end up.

No matter whether others step up to help her or not, the strength to change the circumstances of her life must come from her...and that is asking a lot from anyone.

"Do the best you can, with what you got, from where you are."

Theodore Roosevelt

Better advice I can't think of.

Can't her dad and brothers talk to the other family? Even if they're culturally retarded assholes, surely they wouldn't just watch passively as their own daughter/sister is being harassed and threatened. Would they? Who am I kidding, they're probably part of it.

They probably respect the other family's claim on the children. They are probably ashamed and angry with her for failing to accept her place under her husband's foot. They probably love her. It's not easy to understand.


@Belle - "She has seen the same car following her."

They think that they own her and for her, she feels like she's living that Hotel California song:

"You can check out any time you like but you can never leave"


I'm just going to go slightly off topic here if thats ok. I need to write this down,

There's something that all of the cultures that behave like this seem to have in common and that is, their culteral roots are still steeped in the Old Testiment.

But theres one culture I can think of that doesn't seem to have a lot of this going on and thats the Italians. I always wondered why the Italians seemed just that little bit more civilized even though they look the same and act the same etc.

and then I realized that the difference is that the Italians are RC - they came through the Age of Enlightenment - Jesus. The new order.

Where as the others still havent arrived.

I think thats really interesting?




But the others are right that she has to split from her family of origin. And these are the most important people in the world to her and her children. Thats going to cause her a lot of grief.

Its a horrible either way.

 the Italians are RC - they came through the Age of Enlightenment

So RC means "Renaissance Christians"(?).

lol. I think this is wishful thinking, Jesus thief.


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The need for knife control

Started by Jesus Christ in Society. Last reply by Gregg R Thomas 15 minutes ago. 72 Replies


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