Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Derek on May 30, 2011 at 11:35pm

It depends on her state of mind. Maybe the comfort religion gives her is too strong to argue with.

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Permalink Reply by Kairan Nierde on May 31, 2011 at 10:44pm

I agree.  Your dad was controlling/abusive.  It takes a great deal of courage and self honesty to leave a situation like that.  Millions of people never take that huge leap.  You should be very proud of her already.

 

Before leading her to question her religion, I would consider how long ago the divorce was and how established her sense of self is now.  Is she strong enough right now to process the type of cognitive dissonance your prodding is going to instigate, much less go through another major life transformation (deconversion)?  She may need her religion as a coping mechanism while of rebuilding her life and self-confidence.  Let her have it for now.

 

Once you know she's in a healthy place, I think it would be appropriate to broach the subject.

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Permalink Reply by Cynthia on June 1, 2011 at 10:43pm

The divorce was just a few years ago. She still gets very upset about it.

The more I think about it, the more I think I should just leave it be. Her happiness is the most important thing right now, and I think that realizing there is no god or a happy place after death would be too depressing, and not worth it in the long run.

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Permalink Reply by Cynthia on June 1, 2011 at 11:01pm

Yea I think thats the case

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Permalink Reply by Doug Reardon on May 30, 2011 at 11:48pm

Ignorance is bliss.

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Permalink Reply by Cynthia on June 1, 2011 at 10:43pm

So so true.

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Permalink Reply by Dustin on May 30, 2011 at 11:54pm

Awww , you can try , but I don't think you'll succeed.  If she is using the 'The is the Old Testament' reflex when something contradicts her beliefs , just point her to some of the things that are in the Pauline epistles ... about women not speaking in church and should keep quiet ... how the husbands are given divine authority to rule over their wives and how their wives should be obedient and loving to the husband ... 

 

Then what is she going to say?  Oh , but Jesus didn't say that!  LOL.  

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Permalink Reply by Cynthia on June 1, 2011 at 11:01pm

I've mentioned that, but she just blocks it out. I'm just going to let it go, and let her believe what she wants.

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Permalink Reply by Cynthia on June 1, 2011 at 10:44pm

You're right. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I'm just going to leave it be. She has always been supportive of me, so I need to do the same in order for her to be happy.

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Permalink Reply by Jason Ward on May 31, 2011 at 5:03am

I say let her have her views and consolations, the effect on you is hardly worth comparing to her peace of mind and it's (I'm guessing) too late in the game to assume changing her mind (even if you could) would have substantial positive returns.

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Permalink Reply by Cynthia on June 1, 2011 at 10:45pm

You're right :) Her happiness is what is important, and it really isn't hurting anyone for her to believe what she does. She is a good person, and has always been a good mom and very supportive of me regardless of religion(or lack of)

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Permalink Reply by Justin Humphrey on May 31, 2011 at 6:13am

Sometimes people just need an imaginary friend! Same thing we did as kids, God is just adults imaginary friend.

 

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