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Permalink Reply by Cara Coleen on December 21, 2011 at 11:04pm

This is true... I have a Christian friend who readily admits I actually display more confidence and seem to be better off without religion, but--strangely--she still tries to insist I "turn back to God". She doesn't believe I don't believe. But, I guess it's good she thinks I'm a better person now. HA!

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Permalink Reply by Ron V on December 21, 2011 at 9:33pm

I would avoid the subject unless absolutely pressed - and even then I would try to avoid confrontation and change the subject as quickly as possible.

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Permalink Reply by Torrey Garcia on December 21, 2011 at 10:54pm

It all depends. If possible avoid the subject, it will only cause problems.  if it comes to it be honest but be ready to defend your views, and if it turns hostile  don't be afraid to walk.

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Permalink Reply by ernie garcia on December 22, 2011 at 1:05am

I've had this experience with old college friends, and they're all still my friends.  It's not really a case of declaring your atheism because that only informs your lack of belief.  The conversation should be geared towards your worldview or philosophy, what you actually do believe that guides your actions.

And this even supposes that the subject comes up.  If your friendship was based upon going to church activities together, it's gonna come up.  I would not make a big deal of it because it's not a big deal.  

Having said that, don't lead the conversation with, "I can't believe I ever believed any of that nonsense." 

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Permalink Reply by Lewal on December 22, 2011 at 4:17am

Truth or kindness? Wisdom or understanding? Integrity or compassion? Strive to use the former without compromising the latter. If you can't tell, remember the golden rule. If you still can't tell, remember that silence is golden.

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Permalink Reply by Zane Gilley on December 22, 2011 at 2:03pm

I'd not send a message as it seems too blunt.  Perhaps, after initial "Miss you"s You can tell her that you have done some serious thinking about your beliefs, and how you came about it.  I see no reason for it to kill the friendship.  My best friend is Christian, my wife is also, and neither of them are too pushy about it, even though I find it more and more difficult to view Christianity as an opinion neutral thing.  I have seen too much damage of our society, especially our youth because of it.

 Zane

 

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Permalink Reply by Teri G on December 26, 2011 at 1:12pm

I have a similar situation with one of my best friends. I used to go to church with her and her family, we would pray together, and I tried to get to the 'faith level' she was on, but my constant doubt and questioning landed me as a very happy and moral atheist (hurrah!).

When I had decided on my sure footed path I wanted to tell her, as well as my other close friends, that I was different from them and hopefully start an intellectual discussion about it. This was until I realised the threat and the damage that such a outright force of conversation may cause. My friend and her family are most likely the one's who would say "but you don't have enough faith" instead of "how did you come to that decision?" I feel that they may see it as an attack on them and their belief. So I have left it, to be discussed at a different time, if they choose to bring it up.

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