There are certain people we will encounter in our lives who will just get at our core anger.

 

I really need help here because I want so badly to make her life miserable and I know that this would only make me look bad.  I feel I have already made a fool of myself and frankly I do not want to think about it anymore.  I just want to forget about this person and go on. 

 

The story:

Last summer my husband and I were going to our neighborhood tennis courts, while driving there I was eating a lovely freestone peach.  It was extraordinarily yummy, however at the end there is this pit right and as I exited the car I tossed the pit into a pile of leaves at the edge of a fence.  I do not agree with disposing of all biodegradable materials in plastic bags that will fill up land fills.  The pit would be properly cleaned by ants and if we are lucky perhaps a tree will grow.  But no, across the way there was a woman who decided it was her neighborly duty to point out that I was littering.  She yelled "That is not very nice." and I said, "No worries it is only a peach pit."  At which point she said "It doesn't matter you are still littering."   I explained that a peach pit is biodegradable and that she should not worry herself over this, was not her business anyway.  Well she decided to get even more unpleasant and I decided to get in her face and try and explain what biodegradable means and then I suggested she take more walks.  I was not very nice at this time and frankly I am not proud of myself.  She told me she was going to call the police and I asked her what her complaint would be if she did call them.  She then said that she was going to report me for littering.  I then handed her my cell phone and told her to go ahead.  She took the phone and then handed it back to me and stalked off.  Thinking this would be the end of it my husband and I had a hearty conversation about the obvious ignorance of some people and started playing tennis.  

 

About ten minutes later two patrol cars roll up with four officers and they approached the fence.  The lady never returned to the scene to meet with the police and when they showed up they asked what the problem was and I confessed that I had thrown a peach pit into a pile of leaves.  They looked disgusted and asked where the person who made the call was and I shrugged my shoulders and suggested that she was hiding at home.  They left and we continued with our game.  I was a bit miffed at this point because she was surely abusing 911 for such a silly thing.

 

Okay so today we show up at the tennis courts and there she is again.  My husband got out of the car and she asked him if he was a resident and my husband then replied yes and then I got out of the car and asked her the same thing and she went off like a bomb and shouted.  "I am the president of the Home Owners Association!"  I said, "Oh yeah, you are that, whats her name?"  I was not being nice here because she is just into making a scene.  I think she enjoys this kind of thing.  Power tripping and all.  Okay so I got in her face and told her a few choice things and she told me she was going to have me banned from the common areas.  I told her that she was welcome to do so, I can handle it.  

 

Frankly I can't handle it.  She is a confrontational moron and she has a reputation for being a bitch and how she got elected HOA president is beyond me.  Her husband or someone living at her house owns a lawn care business and displays his signs  very prominently in her yard for advertisement which is in violation of the covenant.  I do not really care about this I would normally allow them enough time to hang themselves with their own ropes and that is what I would like to do in this case.  So I need some moral support here please.

 

I have mentioned this to two other people who live in the neighborhood and they just smile and say..'Oh that is just the way she is."  You can't change her.  Well I don't want to change her I just don't want to be accosted when I go to the tennis courts.  

 

I do not feel like being nice to this person, I am a generally good person.  I do not work,so I volunteer at the school and the animal shelter and I pretty much keep a low profile and mind my own business.  I hate to be dragged into a petty neighborhood bitch fest but this woman has gotten under my skin. Any advice?

 

Tags: conflicts, neighbors, personality

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Replies to This Discussion

I was thinking the exact same thing. When we were shopping for our house, being in an HOA was a deal breaker!

 

I agree that you should take a picture of the sign and bring it up at the next meeting. Other than that, I'd try and keep a low profile and avoid her if at all possible.

To me HOAs are just neighborhood nazis with frequent power trips.

I'd take your photos and get your pal lined up to run against her.  But then just play it cool.  This may all blow over if you're willing to take the high road at your next meeting.  Isn't it enough to be right?  You don't always have to meet fire with fire because sometimes that leaves you both just fizzling out in the end. 

 

Is she really worth all this bother?  Can she really touch even you if she did try to get you banned?  Certainly you would have a way to protest. 

 

You don't want to make this into a nasty neighborhood feud where you don't feel comfortable leaving the car out of the garage and she's afraid you'll poison her rose bush.  Trust me, you really don't want to live in that neighborhood! 

take out an AVO (i.e. apprehended violence order) or the American equivalent), get the police event number from the first incident, along with a detailed log and witness statements.

Tell the judge that you are so afraid for your own safety that you want her as far away from you as possible. You should get it.

She will then lose her position and might even have to move if she lives too close to you.

Wait, you got mad at her because she didn't want you to litter (which is exactly what you did biodegradable or not) Do I have this right? Not to be rude but you are totally in the wrong on that account. If your excited to have a tree grow why not find a way to save it and plant it in your back yard. 

After that your both guilty of escalating the problem. 

Disposing of biodegradable materials upon the ground is not littering. It was in an area where leaves and other such natural debris are left. It is not littering it is allowing nature to dispose of a natural element the way nature does and believe me the natural process is much better than placing it in a plastic bag and sending it off to the landfill.
Dropping a peach pit is not littering. Biodegradable material gets broken down and recycled. Throwing a peach pit on grass is actually healthier for the planet than throwing it out. Sorry, you're wrong.
Way to be a Rebal...Renee....:(

Thanks for all of your suggestions.  The term for president, it appears, is only for one year.   My plan is to simply carry on and let it all go for now.  It is just making me so mad inside.  She accosted my husband for not volunteering to help out in the neighborhood.  I have been volunteering since we moved here, I deliver the newsletter to 21 of my neighbors and I have organized the fourth of July parade twice in the past three years.  I was unable to do this last year as my father was dying during this time and I had to be out of town during that week.  

 

I do plan to take a photo of the signs in the yard.  If she does try to ban me from the common areas I will ask to have an audience with the board in order to present my side of the story.  I do not think she can just ban someone without that person's response.  I am not sure.  I have read the bylaws and the ban can only take place if someone is in arrears with their HOA fees.  This is not the case for us.

One of the things I can't stand is when someone accuses me of wrongdoing when I know I'm not. This has led to many a confrontation. If you're defending yourself from false accusations, go all out. Defend yourself to the best of your abilities. If it leads to a confrontation, so be it. You should feel better knowing that you defended yourself to the best of your abilities.
That is exactly how I feel.   Thank you!
sometimes you do need to stand up and educate people, maybe this will lead to better practices in your community and you would have a communal compost.

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