I've been known to invite them in for a debate, but if I don't have time (and my wife is out of sight) I may just lie and see what happens.

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Or you can join the Jehovah's Witness protection program.

It usually takes them about 2 hours to think of an excuse to get out of my house!!!

Jehovah's Witnesses think that blood transfusions are an abomination and are banned according to the Bible.

Christians think that Same Sex Marriage is an abomination and are banned according to the Bible.

On one hand, we don't ban blood transfusions, since not ALL are Jehovah's Witnesses.  On the other hand, Christians are banning Same Sex Marriage even though not all gays are Christians

If we can ban something for gays even if they’re not Christians, than we can ban blood transfusions for you, even though you’re not a Jehovah’s Witness.

See how that logic works??? If we make laws for Christians that affect non-Christians, we need to make laws for Jehovah’s Witnesses that affect non-Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s that simple.

Christians think that Same Sex Marriage is an abomination and are banned according to the Bible.

That's true of some Christians and Christian sects. More and more that tide is changing.

Let's stay away from stereotypes and stick to the one thing they ALL have wrong: God does not exist.

I'm sorry, no, I'll use ALL the ammunition against stupidity that I have available at my command.  If I can show how ILLOGICAL one part of their "belief" is - it goes to show how idiotic ALL their beliefs are.

Sometimes straw man arguments are valid.

It's true. I'd kidnap one. Nothing serious, just tie her up, maybe fondle her a little bit while I make her watch Spongebob with me. Then send her on her way.

He's lucky they didn't decide that he really needed them badly.

Even faster is the one I used:  "You went right past a 'No Trespassing' sign."

Their eyes got really, really big and they skedaddled.  Took less than ten seconds, most of which was them cravenly apologizing.

[Only later did I realize that they could not possibly have seen the sign with my gate open.]

Couple of JW stories I have heard

1) I know I've told this one here before, but not everyone has been here forever, so I will repeat it.  A guy in Denver drives home from work to find his two dogs running loose around the neighborhood and a shit ton of litter in his front yard.  On closer inspection the litter was JW literature.  Apparently the dogs had somehow got out and the JWs had dropped their shit and run like hell.

2) I heard the story a long time ago of a person who had an AR-15 opened (because he was cleaning it), answered the door with the opened AR in hand, closed it, set it down (NOT pointing it at them), and said in a very pleasant voice, with a big smile, the very picture of courtesy, "May I help you?" I have no idea if this is a true story but if it is, I'll bet he beat my ten second JW-evaporation time by about 9.5 seconds.  As I stated I don't know if it's a true story, and I personally wouldn't advise any sort of gun display since many would consider it threatening and in many states you will be charged regardless, but the mental image of JWs showing a measurable red shift as they fade over the horizon is still amusing.

We never have fewer than 4 guns on the hearth by the front door.  (Most of them are pellet rifles, but an uneducated person wouldn't know that.)

My husband used to work with a guy who told this story:  Every Saturday he had two lady JWs (one older, one younger) visit him.  He was polite and told them that he was not interested, but they were very persistent.  I guess they thought he was a special kind of sinner.  I don't know.  One Saturday, he heard the usual knock on the door.  When he answered it, well, guess who.  He chatted with them for a moment then the older lady said, "We're here to talk about adultery." (Now, this guy was over the moon for his wife and would have NEVER cheated.) "Do you know about adultery?"  His immediate reply was, "I sure DO!  I LIKE it."  He looked at the younger lady, winked and said.  "I like YOU, too."  They never came back.

I think they are accustomed to being lied to. Answer the door nekked next time and see what those bothersome little old ladies do.  Of course you stand the possibility of being jumped...


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