I would like to hear about your final service....
I recall my last mass. I was absent for many years and felt like "something was missing". I didn't even realize I had become an atheist. As I stepped through the threshold, dipped my hand in the holy water and signed the cross, the familiar scent of incense, the soft droning organ music and the loud echo of the occasional cough brought back a flood of memories from being raised as a catholic school boy.
I sat there, my biggest concern that I had forgotten the apostles' creed, and would be "caught". Or that I would stand instead of kneel. The lady next to me smiled at me and was a great singer. Sometimes I think people who sing well really enjoy church more.
However, suddenly I started thinking "this is such bullshit". With each phrase from the priest and sheep-borg response I started to be repulsed. I no longer belonged. I felt like a fake, about to gag. At some point the priest mentioned how the parking lot needed repair and then the basket came around again, and I was like "really? why do you assholes send the fucking basket around twice". Oh yeah. I had changed. I started looking at the deceived flock around me. I had become a contemptuous observer instead of a willing participant. I looked at the twenty foot blonde-haired jesus nailed to his cross and thought, big fucking deal, my own grandmother suffered way more than you.
As I got in my car, I knew that was the last time.
You're right, of course. Don't get me going on Diana, or I'll go all freaky ;like I did when I was 30.
I love that last sentence.
Feeling any different, Diane?
Yes. I feel taller and a bit lurky.
Come back over, and we can get the tape measure out!
Oh man, they probably stopped and stared at each other as the door shut behind you. I really need to "witness" a fundie show sometime.
Speaking of "fun experiments," I just got an email ad from "Christian Mingle" - whadaya think?
The idea of mingling christians has a certain appeal