I would like to hear about your final service....

I recall my last mass. I was absent for many years and felt like "something was missing". I didn't even realize I had become an atheist. As I stepped through the threshold, dipped my hand in the holy water and signed the cross, the familiar scent of incense, the soft droning organ music and the loud echo of the occasional cough brought back a flood of memories from being raised as a catholic school boy.

I sat there, my biggest concern that I had forgotten the apostles' creed, and would be "caught". Or that I would stand instead of kneel. The lady next to me smiled at me and was a great singer. Sometimes I think people who sing well really enjoy church more.

However, suddenly I started thinking "this is such bullshit". With each phrase from the priest and sheep-borg response I started to be repulsed. I no longer belonged. I felt like a fake, about to gag. At some point the priest mentioned how the parking lot needed repair and then the basket came around again, and I was like "really? why do you assholes send the fucking basket around twice". Oh yeah. I had changed. I started looking at the deceived flock around me. I had become a contemptuous observer instead of a willing participant. I looked at the twenty foot blonde-haired jesus nailed to his cross and thought, big fucking deal, my own grandmother suffered way more than you.

As I got in my car, I knew that was the last time.

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About two years ago to hear my atheist daughter sing in the church choir.

Before that I attended a friends funeral and prayed with his family that "their" god would grant him everlasting life (kind of hard when you're dead but this god fellow is rumored to do the trick) and a peaceful rest. Hey, if it brings you comfort, to know someone is praying with you, I'll do it and then I'll slink off in my merry little atheist way cause it's all bullshit.

While sitting their, listening to the whole Roman Catholic ritual, the priest in their robes, the congregation repeating their responses in unison, i got a thought that perhaps Mel Brooks would come out from behind the alter, in his Torquemada outfit and break into a rendition of "The Inquisition", what a show, The Inquisition, here we go…. LOL

Yep, it's all bullshit….

In my case, a bolt of lightening zapped down and scorched my pinfeathers - I can take a hint --

Robert, you always write SO well.

Why, thank you my fossilized friend.

My freshman year of college (that would be 1995, oh boy was that a long time ago). It was a Catholic mass. I of course remembered all the recitations and ritualistic kneeling and standing and sitting. I was there with my girlfriend (an agnostic at the time) and her roommate (a Catholic). I'd gone along to explain everything that was going on to my girlfriend. I took communion (my last one). Nothing really special about the experience. I called myself Catholic for several months after that. It wasn't until the following summer that I declared myself agnostic. And only after college did I say I was an atheist. It was just a thing to show off to my girlfriend that I had mastered Catholic ceremony, and could even explain the reason and history behind some of the prayers and practices. 

ETA: Does anyone know how to use an alias in place of my name? (This is my first post)

Sure - go to "My Page" which is on the green horizontal banner on the home page, and click "My Settings".  You can change your name as it appears in the "full name" box there.

Oh and welcome to TA :)

Awesome. Thanks!

Yes, thanks!  I changed mine to a different name

You are even more of a nut than I originally thought!

Well Archaeopteryx was already taken!  Event Horizon would make my butt sound big.  Little Mama Yum Yum is, well, just wrong.

"Archaeopteryx was already taken!" - and it's a pain in the ass to type, too, lemme tell ya!

What is it with women and changing things? Guys wouldn't even change their underwear, if they could get away with it --

There are going to be people coming on this board, who will never know you as the beautifully-named, Diane, the Huntress. She even had her own constellation.

We know how those constellations work - two stars and a whole heap of imagination!

Does that make "Brangelina" a constellation? Or are you referring to the stripper pasties I saw last week?


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