I was reading something today about Empowering Women through Secularism....I started thinking about that.

As an Atheist, even in one of the most liberal places of the US, I have found that when I tell people I am an "Atheist" it scares them....

I started thinking about my experience here on TA...no offense, but it is mostly a male presence here. Not a bad thing, but....it made me wonder, "Why?" Why have the Women of Think Atheist disappeared? When I joined 2 years ago there were MANY women on this forum.

What happened?

Just curious if I'm the only one who has noticed...

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The ebb & flow of online forum activity. There is a plethora of reasons why people come and then disappear.

[sigh] I wish there was more female input as it keeps things a little more balanced, with the female perspective weighing in on issues.

*The* female perspective...you know, like *the* atheist perspective. Facepalm.

I agree with what I think Ed meant. There may be times when more precise wording is important... even though it's a generalization, I think the world would be a better place if women were more represented, everywhere.

Meh, say what you mean and mean what you say. He likely didn't intend for it to sound like a sweeping generalization but it was.

Because of Hot Jesus..

That Jesus wouldn't make it in prison.

Most of the women who've become scarce (the ones I recall anyway) were pretty tough interlocutors. I hear that one has become scarce because her partner became jealous of the time she was spending here, but she pops in from time to time. Don't know about the others.

It turns out I was never a woman. Oops?

I imagine the women emigrated because it wasn't engaging enough, or perhaps they've developed other interests.

RE: It turns out I was never a woman. Oops

LOL I think you and me are probably the most active female members....recently anyway....

Sorry Belle, but I'm not kidding. I'm male; I'm transgender. I was assigned female at birth (have all the biological plumbing of a female, hence the pregancy) and I spent most of my life trying to ignore and compensate for actually being male internally. It's technically called transsexuality. I finally stopped repressing it this time last year. It took me half a year to accept it and come out to family. A couple months later I realized it's necessary for me to physically transition to male and I'm in the process now. This is why I've been away from the website-I've been processing this and dealing with the fallout in my real life relationships.

I'd tried to come out before but had a mental breakdown. I used to say I was gender queer because it was too much to handle and I was flipping out enough over being bisexual and an atheist. I used the name Kairan on here because it's a male name that sounds nothing like my real birth name. I would use Kairan in real life, but apparently names like this are very popular now and it wouldn't be age appropriate for me. I'm working on changing my name, but I'll keep that name private, and hopefully I can move forward with a medical transition in the next year. I am transitioning socially now, which means I'm using a new name and male pronouns and I'm doing my best to present myself as my actual gender. This isn't always possible due to safety issues and how I look isn't always convincing. It's awkward. Actually back when I was trying to come out the first time, before I ended up in the hospital, I met someone IRL from TA but was a rude asshole to her because I couldn't handle the fact that they knew I was questioning my gender, so I pulled a dissappearing act and for a couple of years I repressed my memories of this period of my life. If this person is still around, I want her to know I think they're a kick ass human being and they would have been a great friend. How I treated her is one of many regrets.

You remember that person on here who was a refugee from Africa in the UK, talked about seeing an angel and aliens and stuff? They were trans too, I believe, so that's why I tried to reach out to them, since I kind of got how their issues were connected with being attacked in Africa and dissociating/"seeing angels." To be honest, I should have left it alone, because I wasn't emotionally well enough myself to engage with their issues. I had to back off. I'm saying 'them' because I can't remember if they used female pronouns. I hope they're doing better now and have been able to get medical support for their transition...feminine or female trans people have it much harder than male trans people.

I'm sorry I mis-represented myself here, but I've been in denial and/or unable to face it and maintain my sanity most of the time. The good news is I'm not suicidal anymore and I'm actually getting my shit together because I feel like I could have a future now.

So yeah, Belle, you might actually be the only woman on here right now.


   That is such a cool story!!!!!!!! I didn't know but I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy that you are able to find the strength to find you "own reality!" That is DEFINITELY something to celebrate!!!

Break out the bottle of "RIOJA" and fucking celebrate!!! Cheers to you Kairan!

I'm so happy for you :)

It's freedom....there's nothing better than freedom, even if those who you thought loved you are cold for a time.....it's just an "adjustment" period...

But that being said, FUCK ANYONE who rejects you for being the "real you"

Fuck them an the horse they rode in on, LOL!!!!!!!

You do the rioja, it's eggnog season over here! I'm glad it's not a big deal to you. I wasn't sure how it would go down on TA. We'll see. You never know how people will react--it's often not what you expect. I've lost a lot this year...hopefully it is just an "adjustment" period in some cases. My best friend converted to a fundamentalist sect of Christianity and she has implied that I metaphorically 'took her honor' and dishonored her marriage by hanging out alone with her. It's the whole 'love the sinner, hate the sin, don't tell the sinner you've converted' religious schtick with her...so we're done. I knew her more than half my life. It was bewildering and horrible. But my other bestie is a Christian Universalist Unitarian and has been my biggest ally. My parents are not disowning me but deeply ashamed and want me out of their sight before I transition any more. I found out there's a genetic component in some cases of transgenderism, if you catch my drift, so I was kind of relieved not to be possibly passing on this burden onto a third generation of "Nierdes" when I miscarried. Figuring that out sort of completed the puzzle as far as the emotional abuse growing up. Maybe I'll adopt if I ever get settled with a partner and decent job (if adoption/marriage is legal). Life is so weird. To fucking people on high horses!


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