I recently confronted suicide not once, or twice... but three times. One of these is still occurring.
What I haven't explained in the article I published on suicide is how much I still blame religion. These are personal feelings, and don't belong in a public service piece; so I will go into that here:
When a person is religious, they create an acceptance of their lifespan never truly ending. A religious person finds this life to be utterly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, except perhaps providing the proper ID for the "real life", or afterlife as it is commonly referred to.
This notion of there being an immortal lifespan tends to break down the value of life and the finality of death. In the mind of the believer, it isn't a matter of not living that draws concern, but the matter of where you end up. Of course you won't stop existing! Are you mad? You have a soul, you fool!
In the minds of many, there is this idea that all it takes to get into heaven is for you to be sorry for being a filthy sinner and acknowledge the Lord God. Bam! Heaven time!
What value is living if you manage to truly believe paradise is just a snuff-film away? The reason you won't find these thoughts specifically in my article is because I am not a neurologist, psychologist, or any other -ologist of note in which I can legitimately make these claims in official print. I am, however, damn smart... smart enough to know how dumb I am... so these thoughts lay here appropriately marked as "opinion" and cast out for the open forum.
I'm wanting to generate dialogue on this, so I'll stop here and ask: what do you think?
Like and share the article on your various medias please.
I don't respond to comments on the article, so if you want to open a dialogue- speak here.
Yeah, this is what we need.
depression is a hard thing to fight. You can be in a crowd of people you know and care about smiling. no one has a clue what's going on inside. Inside your looking at everyone being happy and start to believe no one even knows you're there. then you start to analyze out how everyone you care about would be better off if you weren't there. escalation increases and you become resolved to life would be better without you.you start thinking of best ways to accomplish it.At this point still hiding feelings so almost everyone belives your okay.
Church teaches there is no redemption for suicide. You know there is no happy ever after. Suicide means though all the pain stops. You don't have to go though it anymore. While i will say religion has a place in cause of suicide at the end the mind set is the pain will be over. Pain being mental, physical, you don't focus on what it will actually do. It will tear family and friends apart asking why? why didn't i see them hurting? why did they do this they had everything going for them? What did I do wrong?
The way writing this is as both someone hospitalized for multiple suicide attempts and as someone who lost friends to suicide. I'm literally wring what goes through the mind. It takes the one thinking about it to talk to someone. It takes work to find out what is triggering thoughts. This is where church can play into things because of the guilt for not following the teachings of bible or torah. Mainly though it is within the person's head. the things they feel bad about amplified to an extreme. There are mental health issues that cause risks of suicide such as paranoid delusions, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder, manic depression and a slew of other mental illness. there are those who commit suicide to not deal with long term diseases that are terminal.
Before I die, I'd like to play a prince
A noble prince, like princes in the plays
Who fights and shouts and dances like a god
Whose face is mired by dirt that will be seen
In some untold, unsensed dimension new
Where I surrender all my worldly faults
No longer am I scared to be confused
Revered, remembered, forgotten and abused
There was once a class called Pataphysics,
Just a little elective,
Where for credit you wrote a short little note,
Explaining the 'why' of your demise.
Three pages latter,
Having cleared the air,
Spilled my Beans,
And cried my little eyes picking my just-right prosey end,
I felt better!
The drama ended,
And all I had were words,
Self talk dumped upon a page.
So here I am 34 years later,
The dramas coming and going,
Going and coming,
Ugliness and beauty filling my/our cup prim full!
Damn the wonder never ends,
Well done article, nicely written.
"For them, joining the void and becoming nothing is more desirable than their perception of reality."
That is right on. Speaking as one of those depressed folks who almost killed himself once, I can tell you that's exactly the thing I was 'shooting' for; to just make it all stop, reach the void, the nothingness, the simple and quiet dark. Thinking about my misery was my torment, and I only knew of one way to turn it all off.
I admit I have no idea what my attempt might have been like if there had been religious overtones involved. If I'd been a believer, the twirling mass of troubling thoughts in my head might have been seemed even more ominous and inescapable.
If I may be so brazen, here's an excerpt from my book 'Life with A Crooked Eye', from the chapter Good Catch where I tell of my suicide attempt at the age of 26:
"I put the barrel of the gun in my mouth and
tasted the metal. Tears gathered as I held the
revolver with both hands, feeling its cold steel and
...A lump grew in my throat as I felt the insatiable,
never-ending grip of life tugging on my heart,
pleading with me to stay. My survival instinct knew
my intentions and tried to convince me to stay by
throwing memories at me: the warm wood tone of a
guitar, the smell of a classic old book, the refreshing
chill of snow on bare skin, and the salty-sweet taste
of a woman's body, all very enticing.
But then my mind betrayed itself, allowing me
the calming thought of oblivion. Since I felt tortured
by life, the serene thought of nothingness was very
appealing. No pain, no struggle, nothing.
The depression I'd felt for so many years had
brought me to the point of insanity many times. And
here I was again. I had recently lost my marriage,
my work, and my home. Not only had my world
fallen apart, I'd lost the competition with my dead
father. Talk about feeling like a mistake, I was more
useless than a dead man.
I was tired of feeling like a loser and awkwardly
battling my own psyche. I wanted peace and quiet
inside my head. I just wanted it all to stop."
I hope to read more of your work in the future. I like how you write, sir.
Although, we can't always pick our subject matter, sometimes it picks us.
I wonder to what extent a mental illness diagnosis is based on someone's being suicidal?
Why is a suicide choice an indication of mental illness?
I can see a rather large list of 'reasons' for suicide, surely in that list there are rational 'reasons'. Does this list need to be exhaustive to be rational?
Is a general 'state of unhappiness' a good reason?
Is a 'lose of function' or 'significant reduction in independence' a a good reason?
Since we are looking into this hole, what looks back into us? I choose to look away. Outside there is blue sky, people that care about me, but memory can take me back to moments that cut and leave me to bleed.
It can be a side effect of various mental illnesses. they add as additional triggers.
I was wondering if a little circular reasoning was inflating the column for "mental illness" as a cause of suicide. Someone who for rational reasons, in other words, who talks about wanting to commit suicide, might ipso facto be declared mentally ill by a clinician, if only as a CYA.
I had to Google CYA. Cover Your Ass
Must be an Americanism.