In case you are not currently aware, Skepchick Rebecca Watson attended some conference recently and, when she finally went to bed after talking for hours, found herself in an elevator with a strange man who asked her if she would like to go to his room for coffee to talk some more. In her recent video she said "Guys: dont do this...".
The problem is she is not really clear what the problem is. Some people are saying all men are evil rapists. Some people are saying she is over reacting to what was an innocent proposition. Having read a few of other peoples comments I believe the main problem was that she was trapped in an enclosed space with a strange man who just propositioned her and she declined. So the proposition itself was not bad(personally I would consider it flattering), but the timing and location of the proposition put her in uncomfortable situation. I think if he had asked her the same question in a more open space, she would of felt more secure that her answer would be heeded. Like if he asked her the same question just as she got off the elevator rather than when they were alone in the elevator, it would of not been such a big deal because if she says no: the doors close and they both go on their merry way.
What do other people think? all men are evil-psycho-rapists? she over reacted? what this guy did is totally fine?
well then , Dawkins doesn't appreciate people chewing gum in a closed elevator.
I would be quite honored if a woman did that to me. Damn , thanks babe. I'd love to get coffee with you.
(Some females would jump at the offer too if the guy was attractive enough , or if they wanted a spontaeous fling after getting dumped by their boyfriend for instance)
You never know until you try. Boo hoo that a guy found her sexually exciting. She has so much to complain about.....
The point was she was communicating the fact that she didn't appreciate it and asking that other men 'not do that'. Where was her complaint? She started complaining after some men told her she deserved to be raped to death for not loving the come on - no one deserves that, and if you don't see the problem there then we really don't have anything to discuss.
"some people people are saying all men are evil rapist" Do you have a creditable reference for that statement? Actual proof someone REALLY thinks that? Anyone who would think such a ridiculous thing would have serious issues meeting any basic physiological needs, unless they lived in secluded village without any men. Not everyone is as analytical as you or I might be. Most men don’t have a degree in environmental psychology and don’t methodically plot out things of this nature.
Bah... I've been thinking more on this and I've changed my position somewhat. I now think skepchick was reasonable and justified in her concerns: 4am elevator stranger blah blah etc. But if we start slapping some kind of new rules on behaviour, what would this lead to?
All situations similar to elevatorgate (cringe) should be based on their own merits relative to the circumstance, that is, we should take different weightings depending on the situation. If I want to chat up a woman at 4am in an elevator, or a nightclub, or an abattoir, then I should be free to do so. Just as a woman is free to turn me down, hell, I don't mind if she slaps me across the face. The thing I don't agree with is Watson's "Guys don't do that". I don't see it as a polite request. It's clearly a request for men to alter their behaviour. I would never say "women don't do this or that" So if we follow Watson and do this and don't do that, wouldn't that lead to a slippery slope whereby the very act of chatting up is tainted with an irrational fear of rape/violence? We are better than this.
It was never about rape/violence - she merely pointed out it wasn't a good approach. What if some woman, trying to impress you, decided to show how loud she could belch after downing a pint of beer? Might you not suggest, if you had an audience that included many women, "Girls, don't do that - not the sort of thing that turns me on."
Skill at belching is not on my list of desirable traits in a partner.