Skepchick's huge controversy over late night proposition.
In case you are not currently aware, Skepchick Rebecca Watson attended some conference recently and, when she finally went to bed after talking for hours, found herself in an elevator with a strange man who asked her if she would like to go to his room for coffee to talk some more. In her recent video she said "Guys: dont do this...".
The problem is she is not really clear what the problem is. Some people are saying all men are evil rapists. Some people are saying she is over reacting to what was an innocent proposition. Having read a few of other peoples comments I believe the main problem was that she was trapped in an enclosed space with a strange man who just propositioned her and she declined. So the proposition itself was not bad(personally I would consider it flattering), but the timing and location of the proposition put her in uncomfortable situation. I think if he had asked her the same question in a more open space, she would of felt more secure that her answer would be heeded. Like if he asked her the same question just as she got off the elevator rather than when they were alone in the elevator, it would of not been such a big deal because if she says no: the doors close and they both go on their merry way.
What do other people think? all men are evil-psycho-rapists? she over reacted? what this guy did is totally fine?
Tags: elevator, feminism, propositioned, skepchick
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Heather Spoonheim on -
Analogous - it is a space where one can easily feel threatened. If that doesn't apply to you, then please realize that your own personal feelings on the issue are not everyone's.
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Permalink Reply by Dustin on -
Notice I also specified 'Cornered' in a dark alley.
I am not stalking your replies on purpose , I just happen to disagree with you ... this one time. :P
standing in an elevator isn't really 'cornering' anyone. You have to walk up to them and continuing to pressure them to back up against the wall of the elevator ... then continue to approach them while they are already backed up all the way ... away from the buttons.
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Permalink Reply by Heather Spoonheim on
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But again, she didn't cry 'rape' or 'harassment', she said she didn't appreciate it and asked, "Guy's don't do that." And then she was treated like shit for it, like she should be complimented that the guy followed her onto the elevator to try a pick-up and appreciate the offer.
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Permalink Reply by Dustin on
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well then , Dawkins doesn't appreciate people chewing gum in a closed elevator.
I would be quite honored if a woman did that to me. Damn , thanks babe. I'd love to get coffee with you.
(Some females would jump at the offer too if the guy was attractive enough , or if they wanted a spontaeous fling after getting dumped by their boyfriend for instance)
You never know until you try. Boo hoo that a guy found her sexually exciting. She has so much to complain about.....
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Permalink Reply by Heather Spoonheim on
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The point was she was communicating the fact that she didn't appreciate it and asking that other men 'not do that'. Where was her complaint? She started complaining after some men told her she deserved to be raped to death for not loving the come on - no one deserves that, and if you don't see the problem there then we really don't have anything to discuss.
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Permalink Reply by Meghan McWilliams on -
"some people people are saying all men are evil rapist" Do you have a creditable reference for that statement? Actual proof someone REALLY thinks that? Anyone who would think such a ridiculous thing would have serious issues meeting any basic physiological needs, unless they lived in secluded village without any men. Not everyone is as analytical as you or I might be. Most men don’t have a degree in environmental psychology and don’t methodically plot out things of this nature.
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Permalink Reply by matt.clerke on -
No, it was more a rhetorical statement to reflect the fact that some people were saying some nasty things about men in general.
"Most men don’t have a degree in environmental psychology and don’t methodically plot out things of this nature." - Agreed, that was (essentially) what some other comments I read were trying to say.
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Permalink Reply by Derek on -
Bah... I've been thinking more on this and I've changed my position somewhat. I now think skepchick was reasonable and justified in her concerns: 4am elevator stranger blah blah etc. But if we start slapping some kind of new rules on behaviour, what would this lead to?
All situations similar to elevatorgate (cringe) should be based on their own merits relative to the circumstance, that is, we should take different weightings depending on the situation. If I want to chat up a woman at 4am in an elevator, or a nightclub, or an abattoir, then I should be free to do so. Just as a woman is free to turn me down, hell, I don't mind if she slaps me across the face. The thing I don't agree with is Watson's "Guys don't do that". I don't see it as a polite request. It's clearly a request for men to alter their behaviour. I would never say "women don't do this or that" So if we follow Watson and do this and don't do that, wouldn't that lead to a slippery slope whereby the very act of chatting up is tainted with an irrational fear of rape/violence? We are better than this.
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Permalink Reply by matt.clerke on
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Each time I think about social politics like this I feel society is surrounded on all sides by slippery slopes(both up and down). We need some serious hiking equipment imo.
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Permalink Reply by Heather Spoonheim on
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It was never about rape/violence - she merely pointed out it wasn't a good approach. What if some woman, trying to impress you, decided to show how loud she could belch after downing a pint of beer? Might you not suggest, if you had an audience that included many women, "Girls, don't do that - not the sort of thing that turns me on."
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Permalink Reply by Dustin on
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Actually , that's probably a poor example because many guys would get really turned on if an attractive woman belched really loud after downing a pint of beer. At least I would. Any other men wish to give their opinion too? lol
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Permalink Reply by matt.clerke on
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Skill at belching is not on my list of desirable traits in a partner.
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