In case you are not currently aware, Skepchick Rebecca Watson attended some conference recently and, when she finally went to bed after talking for hours, found herself in an elevator with a strange man who asked her if she would like to go to his room for coffee to talk some more. In her recent video she said "Guys: dont do this...".
The problem is she is not really clear what the problem is. Some people are saying all men are evil rapists. Some people are saying she is over reacting to what was an innocent proposition. Having read a few of other peoples comments I believe the main problem was that she was trapped in an enclosed space with a strange man who just propositioned her and she declined. So the proposition itself was not bad(personally I would consider it flattering), but the timing and location of the proposition put her in uncomfortable situation. I think if he had asked her the same question in a more open space, she would of felt more secure that her answer would be heeded. Like if he asked her the same question just as she got off the elevator rather than when they were alone in the elevator, it would of not been such a big deal because if she says no: the doors close and they both go on their merry way.
What do other people think? all men are evil-psycho-rapists? she over reacted? what this guy did is totally fine?
More or less agree with your post matt,and I do feel this has been blown up out of all proportion,the guy was an idiot for following her into the lift for sure but we don't know anything more about him and my guess is that in the morning he felt a right fool for what he did,like we all have after drinking(waking up and having little flashbacks of what happened the night before and usually it's way more worse than what happened here,that go's for men AND women) as we know that much as they were in the bar till late,this guy then had two choices if he sees her again apologise or avoid her,he probably went for avoid and this episode has snowballed.I wonder what would have happened if the lift had cctv with sound recordings and rather than just walking away as the man did she used a TAZER on him as like she said she felt threatened,by using the tazer on the man it does something to his heart or brain or anything and this go's to court,now the jury has seen the tape and heard everthing and seen everything,now who would be in the wrong?
I don't think she over reacted. I think the response to what I consider to be a simple and fair comment about it not being cool to proposition a lone female in an elevator at 4am has been used to whip up anti-feminist fervour.
By the way, when a stranger begins a sentence with "Don't take this the wrong way" warning bells should go off because it's akin to saying "Trust me." You should ask yourself why a stranger feels the need to gain your trust if his intentions are innocuous.
Ask a rape survivor about this sort of thing and she is going to get very concerned under circumstances like those
Not all rape survivors are a "she".
Also, I don't think there is a difference between standing in an elevator and standing in elevator while talking. It is not the talking that is the problem right?
Are you saying we should always treat everybody as a rape survivor?
My guess is that a lot of guys tried to read in between the lines of what Rebecca Watson said and found scary what they read there so they thought they had to react. And that reaction literally caused a chain reaction. I'm still not sure that there actually was anything in between the lines and I'm hard fetched to find anything worth to discuss at all.
Now why did guys jump in to defend the elevator guy?
I think the most interesting aspect is that a lot of guys said that the elevator guy did not do anything wrong. But the question is wrong with respect to what. He did not do anything legally wrong or at least what he did should not be illegal (I guess that it might be made illegal was one of the concerns of some guys). He clearly did something socially wrong (against social conventions). But did he do anything morally wrong? I think that is actually an interesting question if you dig a little bit deeper.
He did absolutely nothing 'wrong' - other than choose a terrible way of going about meeting a woman.
When we are interested in people, we approach when the opportunity arises. Sometimes it's awkward. The timing is rarely "right". And?
If her view is that of fear, then she is the one whom should be asking herself questions. Discomfort? Whom hasn't been approached in a uncomfortable or creepy way? I know that I have. I had friends blocking access to me from a woman in the last year. And? Her opinion should be, "Don't approach me that way." and not "Don't do that." as a general statement. People are going to want to get laid and you may be the target from time to time. It's not always going to be pretty. It's not a big deal.
I've been married 9 years, so I can't recall when, but I'm sure that i'be been creepy a time or two. [probably calling in a chorus of those whom agree due to my point alone]. Good luck tomorrow.
LOL , thanks.
So it's morally wrong to act upon sexual instincts? Hmmm , I never knew that ;P
The guy was not a 'strange man', he was a well-known secular convention goer that tweeted a response to her quite offendedly that she blew his offer for coffee out of proportion.
Also, the controversy stems more around the fact that Richard Dawkins commented on her blog, calling her out on her dramatic stupidity and telling her to worry about real women's problems like being forced to wear burqa or involved in honor killings or brutally raped, than being invited to coffee awkwardly.