should I worry about my parents kicking me out because of my atheism

My parents are very religious, as well as the rest of my family and my family takes religion very seriously and constantly tell us not to leave the church, although they never tell us what would happen if we left. I worry if my parents learn that I am an atheist they would kick me out of the house, is the possibility of being kicked out plausible? 

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Towards the end of my 'High school incarceration' period, I found an appartment about two weeks before my graduation, and paid for a few months ahead. This got me out of my parents house the day after graduation, and allowed me some breathing room. I started back to school that following fall and spent even more time by myself to 'rest'.

Most of my science club friends had left town to persue their own school options, but I needed a great deal of time to 'find' myself. Getting over the constant immersion in family politics, power gaming, and the family expectations of a 'over-alls existence'.

I now had no sounding board for ideas, unless I was in school. I read even more widely than before. I remember the mild depression from that time, feeling that I could not be a 'free mind', and a 'member of culture' at the same time. So I 'dance' the boundaries.

As I progressed in school over about 20 years, I did find a few long term, but temporary periods of deep freedom, mixed with periods of gross personal compromise. I found that some Philosophy programs seemed to be focused upon creating ideologues, not free thinkers, debaters, but not people that actual look for some 'truth' outside of the cultural norms/conventions. I got myself in serious trouble a few times by asking a basic question about Theist ideology, 'cult' belief, or suspect 'virtue' of authorities.

After reading Whitehead concerning 'self sealing systems', it became clear that our culture is capable of osification, and in time 'embritlement'.

I hope Alex, that you have better success.

Hi @Alex,

It is of course impossible for any of us remotely to know about your family, or to predict what they might do in any given case.  As a theist and practicing Catholic, though, I suspect that you shouldn't have to worry too much about your parents kicking you out or disowning you.  I think it's more likely that you'll have to deal with their disappointment, and lots and lots of annoying attempts to change your mind, making you go to religious events, and that sort of thing. 

If you do feel it's necessary to "come out" and you're genuinely worried about a really bizarre negative response from them, consider going to have a talk with a priest or someone else in your parish that they may respect.  Odds are your parents will turn to a parish priest for advice, and giving him a fair warning will help him minister to their spiritual and emotional needs.  Remember, it's hard for any parent to have a child who takes a different path.  Not just in terms of religion, but career, marriage, etc.  

It may be hard to hear this from an old professorial fellow, but be kind to your parents.  Sometimes in order to establish ourselves we do need to rebel and break away and argue with our parents, and a bit of that is healthy, like giving up our parents' view of religion.  My dad's Catholicism is not my Catholicism, nor should you be bound by your parents' Catholicism if you wish to consider atheism or any other philosophy.   But you can establish your independence in a manner which is mature, sophisticated, and kind, or you can make it a hurtful rebellious teen spat about brainwashing and other silliness.   Doing the kind thing is harder, I'll admit, since self-righteous indignation over their dumb religiosity can be titillating.  You're a rationalist, though, not someone who embraces emotional arguments, right?

I think parents eventually come around to accept a mature and respectful atheism.  Though they will continue to pray for you!

First, of course it’s possible, since religion is a form of insanity.  Second, whether or not you should worry about it depends, I should think, on your age.  But you should get out as soon as you can, because, if they love God more than you, you shouldn’t want to remain.

In my case, my entire extended family were strict Presbyterians. My parents, though, had they been forced to choose, would have given up religion before giving up me.  The rest of the family , though, DID reject and eject me from the family, especially when I selected a unitarian minister to conduct my mother’s funeral.  I never saw one of them again,   And I couldn’t have been happier.

Of course it’s possible your parents would kick you out, since all relgious people are insane.  As to whether or not you should worry about it, I would say it depends on your age.

In my case, my entire extended family were Presbyterians.  My parents, though, would have given up religion before giving up me.

All the rest of my large family, though, did reject and eject me, especially after I selected a unitarian minister to conduct my mother’s funeral in a humane, rather than a godly manner.  I never saw any of them again.  I couldn’t have been happier.

Of course it’s possible your parents would kick you out, since all relgious people are insane.

I think more than seven-eights of the world's population is religious in some form.

Usually when a small group of people considers the whole rest of the world insane, the logical conclusion is that they should really look in the mirror if they want to find the lack of sanity. :-)

"Of course it’s possible your parents would kick you out, since all religious people are insane."

I'm sure this remark was not meant to be taken literally but come on, guys. This is the sort of comment that makes it very difficult to make any headway. Theists will not be open to understanding why atheists feel the way they do about religion if atheists start from a position of self-appointed superiority.

Hello Alex!

I greatly sympathize with your situation. I see so many have given you really great advice. I agree that it's wise to stay chameleon mode as long as you are dependent on them for a roof over your head. Yeah, there should be a term for this in a survival guide for atheists in religious (intolerant) families. Go chameleon mode and the atheists among the sheep will be hiding in plain sight.

I know it can be really tough to play the role of Christian when your intellect screams for liberation in a safe, atheist environment. I used to pretend to be Christian in my second school, which was in the Norwegian "eastern bible belt" and it was pretty infuriating at times. The teacher and every student assumed that you were Christian, ergo it was okay to invite missionaries that the teachers knew to come and talk about the bad situation of the heathen world.

I just wanna give you one crucial advice if you're going to go chameleon mode as long as you live with your parents. Haven't read all the posts, but unless someone's mention cyber anonymity, you should consider it. If someone else is in control of your router, it doesn't matter if you wipe your internet history from your browser - they can still find it logged in the router traffic. 

I think you can use "tor" browser. That gives you a whole slew of anonymity (though things go rather slow). You also ought to consider taking the picture off your profile here if anonymity is important (and you choose to go chamelion style) and also change the name of your profile (unless Alex isn't your name).

The lengths some people have to go to ... in order to accomodate religious poison. I'm sorry you're in this kind of situation. It totally sucks. I hope you've gotten something out of posting here. 

Good luck Alex-

How old are you?

No, if they are christian like you say they will not abandon you, though for your sake, go explore the world asap.


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