Should I shelter my son from the world I came from? Or go make a difference in it?

It’s really awesome that they’re making a reality TV series based out of New Mexico!!! It takes place at “The Pen.” I didn’t work at this particular facility, but I know people who are on both sides of the bars there. This reality TV show displays what rookie officers go through. I walked in their boots at one time, I did my own time so to speak and I can honestly say it changed me. It changed me in a way that I can never undo.

Now I have to honestly say that I’m turning my focus to a way that I can use my knowledge to help this population of society. I really want to be able to blend my knowledge and skills in a way that helps ex-cons AFTER they get out of prison. I have considered moving back to NM. It is a very real possibility. But regardless, even if I don’t, this world runs through my veins and I just can’t seem to shake it off.

I do believe that our current corrections environment only produces more sophisticated criminals. No, I don’t just think that, I KNOW that. I also know that there’s a better way. There’s a way that we can prevent these criminals from re-offending.

I can honestly say that this series does a great job at depicting REALITY. The way it REALLY is….


Do I want to move my son back to this world so that I can try to make a difference in a place that I KNOW I can make a difference? Or do I stay safe where we are so that my son is sheltered from this world? I go back and forth. Part of me wants to take my skills, knowledge, and abilities to start an organization IN New Mexico to help ex-cons. Part of me wants to stay right where I am in the Pacific Northwest and keep my son as far away from this world as possible.

I guess what I’m asking is….this is the world I come from. Should I expose my son to it and hope that he learns and becomes strong as fuck because of it? I myself and happiest in New Mexico….and I would have to take him away from his dad to do so….Or do I stay in the sheltered Seattle area where danger is FAR far away from us?

Is it better to be sheltered? Or be thrown into the fire?

I’m not really asking my questions right I don’t think, but I guess I’m just wondering in general, is it smart to shelter my son? Or will that make him weak?

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What kind of work do you hope to do in New Mexico? 

InitIally I got a job offer w/ my best friend. But if I moved back I would get to work on other ventures as well. There's an organization called Homeboy Industries based in LA that I want to emulate. It's a long term goal/vision of mine.

Homeboy Industries based in LA looks pretty large, with numerous people-in-need (ala vetted candidates) to select from and support from big city resources. Is there anything like it or possible in Seattle? It looks like you could enjoy the risk in NM, but (as you are already considering), it could be a sink or swim venture for your boy, at times. Swim more for a while, first.

Yah I might try to do something here in Seattle....but I'm much more knowledgeable about the "terf" in NM to be able to make a much bigger difference....not to mention I know a lot of people. my roots go deep there. Here in Seattle I just don't have the connections. (yet).

I think moving would be too traumatic for my son. I think I'm going to stay put, as heartbreaking as it is....he would be primed and groomed in a way I can't control. the more I think about it the more convinced I am that it's a stupid idea....and selfish.
Whatever environment he spends the most time in will become his "norm". If he is surrounded by people who are basically nice to him but who have all done some time, he may unconsciously view spending a little time in jail as no big deal, as not necessarily something he should try hard to avoid.

It's probably beyond his cognitive and moral development level to understand the concept of good people doing bad things or even what makes a bad person. To young kids, if a good (nice) person does something it must be ok. And let's face it, sociopaths can be very nice when they want to be. He should be older, and have a solid base of morals and behavior before he is immersed those kinds of things. But occasional small exposures may help underscore the point that prison time is not the norm. IMO.

Thank you NM it Is the norm to be surrounded by violence. I Think I need to stay In Seattle. I miss home. A LOT. I have a much stronger support system there...for ME! I am struggling financIally here and my housing options are very limited. I am happy in NM....very happy. But I also know how it is in all the schools. It's very dangerous. I myself think my own view of reality is severely skewed because of what I knew as "normal." I was one of the lucky ones.

Anyway, thank you. I know you're a professional and I value your opinion...


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