Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by William C. Walker on December 13, 2011 at 11:13pm

Hi Benny, I wish I had a dollar for every 'dumb' book that has been published.   I could fill a library with the money derived - of 'good'[ books

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Permalink Reply by T A A on December 14, 2011 at 3:05am

I teach in elementary schools, and I have not lied to my students on this topic. Were it in other classes I would answer that the question is off topic. But since you're discussing religion, I think being honest is fine. The  whole 'religion is a personal thing' I have always disapproved of. Ones value system make up who we are as humans, IMO religious status is no more private than the clothing or hairdo one chooses.

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Permalink Reply by Nick Sykora on December 14, 2011 at 1:41pm

Tell the truth, I think it's important for kids to experience different opinions while they are young so they keep an open mind in the future, keep Santa a secret though I love that guy.

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Permalink Reply by peter macneil on December 14, 2011 at 5:44pm

Lying to children is what got us into this mess in the first place. Are you kidding?

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Permalink Reply by Jason Ward on December 15, 2011 at 6:56am

You should most certainly tell the truth, with the obvious explanation that it is an opinion that some disagree with. Children look up to you as not just an educator but as one to "trust" how does their willingness to trust you fit into your deception? I understand why you chose to respond as you did and I also understand the ramifications of telling the truth, that does not mean it is the wrong thing to do.

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Permalink Reply by bob spencer on December 15, 2011 at 3:17pm

I understand your predicament.I worked as a therapist for years often with people who were suicidal and had "lost their "faith".When I've been asked I've always told the truth about my beliefs and it has NEVER interfered with my sessions.In fact (and i know its anecdotal) its always reinforced trust which is the imperative issue.

I don't think children are any different from regressed patients in therapy.Honesty and integrity will always prevail

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Permalink Reply by Ed on December 22, 2011 at 10:43am

Turning the question around would be a good option. Asking the child if they believed in a god. Followed up with asking why they believed or didn't. The point being you avoid assignment of the atheist tag onto yourself and you force the child to think for themselves. Logic, reasoning, and critical thinking should be administered to our youth as soon as possible.

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Permalink Reply by Niall on December 22, 2011 at 11:07am

I work in medicine- I always give the same unsatisfying answer. " I am afraid that I cannot tell you. I'm sorry" then I quickly change the subject. Many times my patients tell me "that's alright- I know you are a christian because you have a good heart." Which is fine- so long as they did not reach that conclusion from what I say. I hold this position moreso for children- like the uncle who tell children where babies come from, yes, the child will find out eventually, but it is not my place to tell.

I understand that your position is very difficult- you are on display in front of several difficult people who look to you for guidance- So, while I don't like your answer I certainly forgive you. I am not certain I would not do the same thing. Thank you for being a teacher.

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Permalink Reply by Corie "Truffles" H. on December 25, 2011 at 4:47am

I can actually answer from the viewpoint of the student! It hasn't really been that long since I was twelve.

I remember having a serious discussion about religion with a teacher when I was ten or eleven or so, but with a complete reversal of your situation. I was the atheist and she was the Christian, and she sat me down and explained to me why she and everyone else in the room was and why I wasn't. The important bit to this anecdote is that I accepted that. Granted, it might have been easier for me because everyone in my community believes in a god and therefore I'm used to not having the same beliefs as my teachers, but children are in fact cabable of empathy, especially towards teachers that they respect as authority figures and as people.

If you're afraid of some sort of clash or backlash, I don't know what you can do about it, but from what I've learned as a student, no kid wants to be lied to by a trusted adult. Especially at such an impressionable age, it might be better to open up a kid's world than to go with the flow.

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Permalink Reply by Jason D. Johnson on January 6, 2012 at 4:36pm

I can totally see the unintentional harm in being honest.  But you don't have to be dishonest in fear of the repercussions of actual honesty.  It shouldn't hurt to admit that you're not a christian.  However, if she asks what you believe, being a teacher I think the perfect answer would be something along the lines of "I believe in learning about everything."  You really cannot go wrong with that.

But as someone mentioned before, that child respects you as an authority figurehead in her life.  Do not be dishonest with her, as you would not want her to be dishonest with you.

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Permalink Reply by Ward Cressin on January 7, 2012 at 2:17am

Obviously everyone has their own viewpoint and answer. That sort of points to an answer of: customize it to each situation.

As someone who has endeavored to be honest while avoiding verbal and/or physical attacks, I try to use the truth while tailoring it to (my perception of) the person's intelligence, viewpoints, and goal.

If you are unsure of the reason for the question and suspect the questioner is religious you could say (if you really did believe at some point in the past) "I believed in god. We should stay on topic though." Note the past tense. The statement is true (if you used to believe) but leaves off your current stance and curtails further questions at that time.

If you know the person is religious and wants to create problems for atheists then it is quite correct to lie to them - you are defending yourself from a veiled attack. If the "sweet" smile is not standard for this student she could have been baiting you. (Yes, I realize this is unlikely - but only unlikely, not impossible.)

If the student is asking this in private and seems troubled, you need to estimate what their goal might be and, if it seems like they might be trying to come to terms with being agnostic or atheist, it might be best to be totally truthful to reassure them that they are not alone.

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Permalink Reply by Neil C. Reinhardt on January 7, 2012 at 7:59am

IN AROUND 1964 A COWORKER AND FRIEND, JOHN SHENSKY, GAVE ME THE NICKNAME "NASTY NEIL" WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE HAD DECIDED TO "ADWARD" ME WITH SUCH A NAME, HE REPLIED:

"WELL NASTY, IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTH AND MOST PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH."

SO, HERE IS SOME TRUTH FOR YOU! :-)

UNLESS A PERSON IS IN SOME TYPE OF DANGER, THEY SHOULD NEVER EVER LIE ABOUT ANY THING AT ANY TIME!

NEARLY NOTHING HAS ANY VALID REASON TO LIE ABOUT IT!

LYING IS WRONG!

PERIOD!

END OF STORY!

PEOPLE WHO LIE ARE HYOCRITES AS THEY DO NOT LIKE OTHERS TO LIE EITHER TO, OR ABOUT THEM OR SOMETHING THEY CARE ABOUT.

PEOPLE WHO LIE ARE DISHONEST, CAN NOT BE TRUSTED, HAVE NO MORALS, NO HONOR, NO ETHICS AND NO INTEGRITY.
NEIL C. REINHARDT

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