Respectful Discussions with LDS Missionaries
I have found myself in discussion mode with the elders of our local LDS church without realizing the implications of such an agreement. Basically while attending a service with my husband, who is a member, (I love him and want to spend time with him while he is home as he works away from home, even if that means attending church), before we could leave after the service we were caught by the eager elders. Of course they had to ask if we were both members...grrr, why, why do they have to go there...and because I have this problem, (I can't be dishonest), I of course said that I was not. They asked if I would mind having them over to talk about stuff and me not liking conflict or confrontation or negativity said I would not mind. I didn't realize that this would begin a formal schedule of something they have been thoroughly trained for. I however only know how I feel, but like singing in front of strangers, when confronted with the questions I close up and can't speak the logic I believe. After one evening of apparently "The 1st Lesson" they had scheduled a second in less than a week from then, which I had to reschedule and haven't yet because I don't feel ready to do so.
How can I respond to their planned/taught questions respectfully and honestly so that they cannot deny my rational thinking and conclusions I have come to? I am not trying to offend or start anything that may get my husband treated negatively.
I may edit this later if I find a better way to bring my question to the "support group" however for now, I just really want some help.
Update:
I told the elders I don't know if I'll want to reschedule the discussions, but that in truth, I'm not ready for regular discussions/lessons. I said I am actively investigating/building the foundation for what I believe, but that at this point any questions I have, I can just go to my husband and I thanked them. They thanked me for my honesty and then invited me to 'continue to please pray to God and ask ....and blah blah blah' and promised me an answer that its true soon and then said I should totally have them back over for dinner soon. I wasn't surprised, but glad to have been able to say what I needed. I will be strong and honest with them, and anyone, anytime my beliefs are questioned.
Thank you for your help. I am grateful to have a safe place where I can ask for it.
--T
Tags: Believer, Elders, LDS, MIssionaries, Married, Mormon
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Trevor on -
Hi Mabel, you may well be right. What I was trying to get at / counterbalance was the tone of the replies that the lady was getting that portrayed her as a victim and the LDS people as evil. It wasn't meant to be particularly personal, I am not attacking her, and if it is a character issue I softened that by saying I have done the same thing in different situations. Its understandable, but it doesn't make her a victim. In this particular case the LDS people don't seem to have done anything underhanded or wrong. As I said, not that I am an LDS fan. No offence intended though.
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Permalink Reply by Lewal on -
I say forget point-counterpoint. Sure, informing yourself about the origins of their belief system (and the origins of that belief system, and the origins of THAT belief system, etc, etc) and the nature of all creation works. But like you've said, it takes a great deal of dedicated practice and even then (for me anyway) it can sometimes be difficult to maintain clarity-- because even with tools like anthropology and neurology in your belt, you're still trying to systematically disassemble a congested mountain of millennia-old complexly layered machinery. So I think you should do like Socrates, Jefferson, Buddha, and 5 year-olds; empty your mind and question everything. Your responses should start with who, what, why, when, or where. Critical thought in the form of academic humility. Genuine curiosity as opposed to overt challenging. Don't be a politician. You have to rise above that. Be a journalist, interview them as if you're reporting on some new tribe discovered in the Amazon, find out about their creation stories and rituals. Just let yourself be fascinated by their strange and barbaric culture from a purely academic standpoint, and graciously make that intent known. Without sounding condescending if you can.
You seem nice. That should go a long way, right?
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Permalink Reply by Nate Lundgren on -
Great response, I wish I could have put it so well. Thanks for the great advice C. Lewal :)
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Permalink Reply by John Jon on
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funny Drawling :)
but telling them the truth that you are not ready is great your honesty is great and the world needs more honest people, so search out the truth of what you believe to be the truth, if you find a reason that there is a god and good for you, if you search out that you believe there is no god than good for you.
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Permalink Reply by Trevor on
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I like you John. You are a voice of reason in a sea of.. well something else. ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Ed on -
It really is so easy in the end. You either can or cannot accept a two thousand year old book written by a hodgepodge group of ignorant men over the course of decades as extraordinary evidence supporting the extraordinary claim that were surrounded by invisible beings with supernatural powers. The missionaries require a "leap of faith" that reasoned logical individuals don't possess. Game over. Tell um' to go knock on another door and you'll keep your fingers crossed for them.
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