Kind of turns that other discussion upside-down, doesn't it?
A lot of us argued then that when a baker hands out their shingle, they lose the right to turn down business.
What? No nuts in that recipe?
I never remember seeing anyone screw around with someone's soup in a kitchen. At least when I worked in the industry the worst thing (intentionally sabotaged or just dropped on the floor) was toast and most certainly the cutlery. I always polish cutlery at any restaurant...and after that...I turn off my brain and assume that the kitchen staff are fairies working in the happy innocent gumdrop forest. Dessert chefs where the most responsible people and cared a lot of their craft and wouldn't let you do anything to their creation so you had to be very sneaky about it (not saying that I...ever...uhhh...spat on the food of a customer who was a raging condescending demanding bitchy asshole). Cakes were generally safe. Toast...and bread in general...no.
One could cause much the same worry AND deflect attention from oneself by saying, "Whenever I could, I watched to make sure the kitchen crew didn't mess with your food and I don't think they did anything the Health Department would would be concerned about."
I'm gay and wide open about it. I just don't let my being gay override reason. My guy and I will be getting married in July and doing it in a pretty big way in a state where it's still not legal yet but we're not worried about little things like who does and doesn't want to bake a frigging cake.
This whole issue annoys me. These types of petty battles are the wrong ones to try to fight and can't be won by either side. They are nothing but sensationalist distractions and wastes of time and energy.
Here's a real life example we've dealt with.
Two years ago the best hotel in our area declined to allow gays to use their facilities for a private party and formal dinner. The hotel also has a big dollar private club on the top floor for the local businessmen and professionals. Most of the members have no problems with gay marriage and there are actually a few gay couples who are members. Going through channels to get their support way before directly approaching hotel management about our reception paved the way for us to be treated like frigging royalty when we finally talked to the manager. Since then he's admitted that he'd refused the previous gay banquet because he was afraid doing it would upset the big money people.
As an advocate for several causes and always campaigning for and against candidates, my Mom has been up to her ying-yang in local and state politics longer than I've been alive. She and my guy's mother are doing all the planning since neither of them have had daughters' weddings to go overboard with. Mom is not above using her clout, calling in political favors and whatever else she has to do to push whatever she does to get things done.
The best bakery/wedding caterer in town was already on record as being anti-gay. Mom gave them a chance to do business. They declined. Mom went to another one and took potential other business from the caterer who turned her down. Now the hotel is pushing the wedding caterer who's doing ours. Also word has spread through the local Red Hatters and Selfmade Made Womens' Subversive Movement that no one wants to ever get pissed off at them.
Got the picture? This is how these battles are won... not by bickering over damned cakes. Knock people where it hurts -- in their checking accounts and this will all settle itself amicably in no time without all the damned media hype over who the hell will and won't bake cakes.
Pick your battles carefully and be sure to win them. Sounds like your philosophy.
Some people will always hate blacks, Jews, atheists, and gays, and tangling with them may simply drive them even deeper into their prejudice. Letting time take its course may actually win the fight sooner. Their minds will be more open when not under pressure by people telling them they are wrong.
Life goes on nevertheless.
Back up and read again, Gallup.
The battles I was talking about are the ones like fighting over the display case in a danged bakery over who is and who isn't going to get a friggin wedding cake... and I think I made that pretty clear.
*Thanks * for * reminding * me * that the law against marriage equality in my state was struck down 2 weeks ago. Hahahaha! *how * on *earth * did * I * Forget * that.* There aren't any licenses issued yet. It's being appealed by the state and THEN we expect this Cupid Stunt to show his butt one more time. Take time to read and enjoy the quote from him comparing equality for gay people as being the same as living under a fundamentalist theocracy where life comes down to convert or die.
And I appreciate your insight on what you believe to be the most effective means of accomplishing changes in attitudes and laws based on the efforts with chik fila once and chik fila twice. If you want me to go to my Mom and tell her she's doing it wrong way I need your home address so she can come visit you because I'm not ready to listen to her lectures over this.
hahahaha.... Unseen hit it right on the head... I try to pick my battles carefully. I'm not battling with anyone over this when I have a wedding dangling in the balance.
If I get married in Spain or Belgium I'll go to a cake shop that will make the kind of cake me and my partner would want to get. None of them would refuse service unless they were ready to have a swift media storm, a large fine and then an eventual court order to make me the cake in the end.
If I lived in a small town in a rural state I would have two difficulties. One would be an extreme lack of options in cake shops (how many shops in the area would make quality wedding cakes of the kind I'm interested in?) and then finding a shop that would be willing to make it for us. If two places refused or weren't to my liking, I would have to travel what...one hour or more to go to a shop in another large enough town with a reputable store, see if they offer services that I'm interested in. If not...travel another 30 minutes to an hour. If none of them will serve me either then another trip. Until I finally get a fucking cake order made in what's supposed to be a fun beautiful experience preparing for a special beautiful day. And then the trip home. And then someone will have to waste a few hours of their time off to pick it up...all because some douche bag fuck face would not serve me at all because of what kind of wedding the cake would be served at.
And now...let's move on to trying to find the wedding organizer. And now the person officiating. And now a venue. And now a photographer. And now......
Under these conditions if I was refused I would fight and I would not particularly appreciate anyone telling me to pick my battles.
My attitude is that of not patronizing bigots as long as its an issue where your life can go on quite nicely without them. I really don't respect those who run cryingbabying to the government because a business is being shitty about something. Whether it's being gay or being under 6 feet tall or parting my hair on the wrong side.
I just let them lose my own business and that of any other people their policy adversely affects.
These things eventually take care of themselves, and why work with someone who doesn't want to do the job. It can't help but result in less than inspired work.
And if they are the only people offering the service in town? Or if everyone in town is checking out the fad of the month and you are one of the only people they won't serve? Why would most people care when 99% get to enjoy the service and when a giant proportion could care less about (or even actively vote against) your rights. Biggots will always have more than enough customers if biggotry is prevalent where they live and assholes will always have customers if there is limited competition.
I think of the classic example of a black guy who wouldn't be served by the only gas station in town. A little more than a small inconvenience no? Luckily that kind of horse shittery doesn't happen (much) any more. Too bad it still happens in say the only bed and breakfast in town that won't give the only room left to two guys or the only bakery in town who won't make a cake for a gay wedding.
"The market will work things out in all things". What a glorious record it has indeed.