Religious Family
Recently we had an invite to a "function" at my Father-in-laws church. We were assured that we were not going to be preached at and we did not have to attend a service. It was just going to be a function for children. There was a raffle for 4 bikes and other gifts etc. for the kids to win.
When we got to his house the night before he confessed to me that this was going to be a way to bring us to gods word. I was upset but thought I would stick thru it because my son was excited to go. That whole night he did his usual quoting crap from the bible that I had never heard of. Like all children go to heaven, bankruptcy is a religious thing because god wants everyone to have a clean start after 7 years. Then his usual of "all these gangsters, murderers, deviants are the way they are because they don't have god in their life". He also spent the whole night bashing my husbands Grandfather (who is by the way his only hero in his life) who served in WW2 and is the greatest person I know. This is the man that calls himself a Christian.
When we went to the church the next morning it did start out with a service. There was the prayer, singing, and then the tithing bag was passed around and the preacher did his whining-crying-pleading that we give to the lord as much as we can because god needs money for his work, etc. Big surprise there. After the whole service and me gritting my teeth they finally got to the kids part. It consisted of a whole 5 min. of pulling names out of a bag and giving away the bikes and surprises.
I felt duped and violated. My son loves his Grandpa but I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I don't know how to handle this kind of person. We are trying to educate my son on how to deal with these kind of people but I find it hard to deal with him myself.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jason Lamar Sorensen on -
Violated is an understatement. He flat out lied to you and he should be called on it. Throw his entire book at him. Explain to him how un-christian his actions were and let him know that you will never fall for that again. I am always so outraged by the hypocracy and irrational measures people will use to supposedly share the "truthful" way. I think I would have made a scene in front of the church, asked the children to leave and then called him on it. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that.
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Permalink Reply by Tammy on -
Saying that I would be absolutely furious would be putting it mildly. Fact is they lied to you to get you there and completely disrespected your personal boundaries in the process. I must say you are a real trooper, I would have exploded mid prayer.
I have a feeling like most theists your just be talking to the wall if you try to point out their own flaws. However, I I feel its still necessary for your to make it clear how that made you feel. Especially with the involvement of your child. You may tear up but stand your ground, draw the lines, and just walk away when you need to. In the end they just need to understand that something like that will not happen again. Your son may be confused but I am sure you will find away to explain it to him so that he understands.
Sorry you had to go through that though. Hang in there and keep your chin up.
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Permalink Reply by Genice Daniels on -
Thank you both for your thoughts. I am at a point where we all need to have a conversation about all the matters in the air. I have been a pacifist my whole life and I am now at a point where I am not going to let people, no matter how close, walk all over me and my family. I know my son loves his Grandpa, and I don't want to break my son's heart but the sooner he sees what this man, and many others soon to come in his life, are about the better. I will no longer stand for it. This is definitely going to be a long hard road but I am up to this challenge.
Joining this page and reading others comments and thought has helped me learn how to stand up for myself better. I thank all of you. :)
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Permalink Reply by Jason Lamar Sorensen on
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Genice, I've been through a bit of this and had to deal with it through my fiancee's family's (extreme catholics) side of things, and still managed to get them to see that I am a great person even though I am an atheist. If you need any help or suggestions, or even someone to vent to I am sure that me and many others on this sure will be ready for you. Good luck and I hope you make some way and turn some heads on the journey.
-Jason
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Permalink Reply by gerrymander on -
There's a pithy phrase that your FIL is probably familiar with: "Thou shalt not bear false witness". When you inevitably see him again, I don't think you can ignore the situation. I would challenge him on the question of, if he feels its absolutely necessary for you to join him in accepting "God's Word", which of those words are essential and which can be handily disposed of when its convenient.
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Permalink Reply by Genice Daniels on
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I will definately bring this up. He has told us in the past he wants us to be "good in gods eyes" when judgment day comes so that we can all be in heaven together. To me it sounds pretty selfish. The next time we are there, their is going to be a conversation because I can't live like this anymore.
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