So two of my ex-girlfriends and my current girlfriend are all religious and have one point or another sat me down on a couch and asked me, "You don't belive in Jesus do you." In my head Im resisting the urge to laugh and say, "no fucking way," but out of respect i restrained myself and explained calmly that i am atheist and no i do not believe in Jesus. Well i hope you can all see where this discussion went. To the point however i would like to ask you guys if any of you have had this predicament and how did you deal with it. I do love my girlfriend very much but she is highly religious and has no intention of allowing me to stay "ignorant of her lord and savior."    What do mentlegen?


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Interfaith relationships can work, but certain factors have to be correct for them to work out. I am actually married to a Wiccan, and while we agree on plenty of things, there are some where we don't. But we respect what each other think, and make no attempt to change the others mind. If you can have that kind of mutual agreement, you can live in harmony in you Atheist and Christian situation. But if she is dead-set to make you 'see the light', or isn't willing to accept your Atheism then there will be a problem. If there can't be that agreement at this early juncture, then it will only get worse if the relationship progresses to something more serious. Say, if you have kids. You will want to your kid to think for themselves and make up their own mind. But she'll want to baptize, go through all the religious education, and indoctrinate indoctrinate indoctrinate. If you get stuck in that situation, everyone loses. So you have to ask yourself if your willing to accept and respect her belief. It you can, you next have to sit down and ask her the same question. If she is willing to let you be you, and not try to convert you then I think you should give it a go if you love her. If she's not, it's best to cut your losses why you can.



Tell her the facts of the matter about her so-called holy book.  Such as ..........The earth is not flat. it is neither the center of the solar system, nor the universe. It is more than 6k yrs old, and took longer than 6 days to come into being. There is no such place as the garden of Eden, or Mt Sion. The flood never happened, and neither did the exodus. The Jews did not then, and do not now, expect their messiah to be born of a virgin, or be anything other than a worldly leader.There was no such place as Nazareth in 1st century Palestine and there is absolutely nothing original in the dying/resurrecting man/god stories of the new testament.  All this of course is just for starters. 

  Then you can assure her that you are crazy about her and have no problem that she insists on believing this stuff anyway.

Had the same problem occur to me last year in my first year of college. I had a new start and became interested in this girl involved in the same program as me. I gradually tried to let go of my introverted ways and build something meaningful with her. Everything was going smoothly and mutual interest formed between us.


One day, however, she happened upon my Facebook info and took note of my religious views (listed as "agnostic atheist"). This prompted many tense discussions and unnecessary judgments. At one point she even pleaded that I go to a church group on campus with her (which I did, though it was purely to see what sort of brainwashing took place at the collegiate level). Things only got more bitter after that point because of my indifference to the event.


As of this year, we're now simply friends (we more or less "agreed to disagree." I hate that saying, by the way). We remain friends (insofar as I can tell) not because of a natural bond, but because we work together on a day-to-day basis in our program where ignoring the other person would foster unneeded misery. It's a terrible shame, really, how an otherwise irrelevant belief can rupture something like love—or, at least, what I thought was love.


In retrospect, I find it funny how I even allowed myself to go to that petty gathering for the sake of appeasing her ridiculous beliefs. "Saving" me was apparently more important than acknowledging the feelings we had for each other. She concluded that I was the "wrong path" for her to go down, refusing to get physical at all in fear of it being "morally" wrong with an atheist. You know what I think is wrong? Someone who denies their own feelings.

Should probably address your situation on this as well and not just ramble...

I agree with most others who've posted: if problems persist now, it's likely only going to get worse as time goes on. If you two can't keep your relationship separate from your conflicting viewpoints, I wouldn't pursue the ordeal, personally. The time and effort is better spent on someone who doesn't see atheism as an immediate roadblock. Loving someone for who they are unfortunately entails one's belief system (or lack of), and it simply isn't conducive to a healthy relationship to have that conflict (especially if it's repressed).

What happened to you was perfect in that odd sense, better sooner than later. Sincerely, I think "feelings" are the absolutely wrong reason to be with someone if they are in contradiction with the basic facts of your personalities. "Feelings" should build on good foundations of mutual understanding and agreement on a whole bunch of fundamentals, and values. People who get married on the basis of "feelings" are surely the reason our divorce rates are so high. "Feelings" change, always have, always will. "Feelings" are unreliable, especially as judges of character.

Hey, that's a great function of college, learning :)

You should canvass religious beliefs before the relationship develops to the point you call her your girlfriend. If it important enough you would do it early. I did.


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