Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by ernie garcia on September 17, 2011 at 11:47pm

yeah, if you think this is a bad speedbump in your relationship, imagine what will happen if and when you have kids.  don't you think she will want your children to be indoctrinated into the faith?  do you think you could ever convince her to raise your children to be critical thinkers and not be afraid of the skybully?

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Permalink Reply by Evan Meinel on September 18, 2011 at 2:59am

well shes not an imposing christian but a more of an "i love jesus" christian. 

 

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Permalink Reply by noisician on September 19, 2011 at 4:30pm

Yeah, but she's going to want your kids to "love jesus" just like she does, right?

 

I married a Catholic girl who wasn't even interested in going to church.

 

The only problem we had related to religion was once our kid was old enough to start going Catholic religion classes once a week after school.

 

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Permalink Reply by Reggie on September 18, 2011 at 12:35am

Can't say that I have been in that position exactly, but communicating expectations is key here.  If she expects to convert you or you her, things will never work out.  If you plan to procreate and have very differing views on how to raise a child, things will be difficult, at best.

 

You probably can make a long term relationship work with a theist, but remember that there are so many fish in the sea and you will care for others as much, if not more, than those you have known so far.  In other words, don't be afraid to move on. It might be best to partner with a mate that shares your core values.

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Permalink Reply by T A A on September 18, 2011 at 1:36am

I've had excellent sex with religious people, but I've never had excellent 'relationships' with religious people. Why? Conversations regarding values are a integral part of the daily me.

In the past, having great sex and fun with religious people has been confused with love, they are not always easy to distinguish... but I think that when you really really consider your true identity, the values that define 'you', it's impossible to be truly 'in love', completely, with the a religious human. IMHO, this is an example of being 'in love' with our 'projection' of that human, our biased and tainted perceptions of that human. I am convinced that it is exactly this inability of humans to recognise this fundamental bias causing our erroneous perception of the 'others dues to lust and co-dependence, is the greatest cause of divorce (or whatever equivalent) in our society.

I don't believe any relationship between a believer and a non-believer has any real potential, other than short term fun and entertainment.

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Permalink Reply by Gaytor on September 18, 2011 at 1:53am

I've made it in the door of religious homes, but never into the hearts. It's clear very early on to religionists that I'm not religious and the confrontation will take place if they have felt that they could save me. The one that got the furthest was younger than me. Eventually we had to have the conversation very directly that who I was would never change. While her church is cool, I don't find the message cool. It's exclusionary based solely on acceptance of a story. I've lost out on many great girls in my life due to this. In the end, I found an Atheist whom was the right match and these conversations are now more of a chorus, "Jesus loves us," lulz "A man lived in a whale." lulz I'm afraid that I wouldn't look back and change my decision because biting my tongue when Bachman speaks might lead to me overflowing with WTF's.

 

I wish you the best of luck. I'm simply saying for me it wouldn't work, but for you, if they have to ask, maybe it's feasible with some serious thought before you speak, everyday for the rest of your life. Dad, Mommy says that Jonah lived in a whale! Son, ask Mommy where the 33,000 cubic feet of air came from over those three days. Be sure to let her know that you respect her opinion! 

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Permalink Reply by L.C. on September 18, 2011 at 5:10am

I don't see how she can be so dismissive of your nonbelief if she loves you. Again, a fine, fine example of the arrogance and lack of humble pie most religious people have. Honestly? Run. Run the other way and fine yourself a nice atheist. You'll never be able to go the distance with someone who is in a committed relationship with Santa Claus.

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Permalink Reply by Evan Meinel on September 18, 2011 at 10:18am

well she doesnt dismiss it per-say. Its more of a breakdown and cry cause "I'm going to hell," faith.

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Permalink Reply by Jason on September 18, 2011 at 6:50am

Hmmm. Well this depends. Is she really hot?

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Permalink Reply by Reggie on September 19, 2011 at 12:43am

Ha!

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Permalink Reply by Frank Hamilton on September 18, 2011 at 7:52am

You can deal with her rationally and use her knowledge of the bible to enhance your own.  The bible

 is a flawed document based on unreality and you can politely dispute her entreaties by explaining why the bible and jesus doesn't work.  Try to keep the discussion healthy and off an emotional reactive level.

If this is impossible, then it's time to rethink your friendship.

 

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Permalink Reply by Dale Headley on September 18, 2011 at 3:34pm

   I recently had a conversation about this very thing with a girl whom I like VERY much  The context of the discussion was that her passionately-held Christian beliefs and my total lack of belief probably created an impregnable barrier between two people like us.  She sadly agreed.  And that's just the way it is.  

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