So two of my ex-girlfriends and my current girlfriend are all religious and have one point or another sat me down on a couch and asked me, "You don't belive in Jesus do you." In my head Im resisting the urge to laugh and say, "no fucking way," but out of respect i restrained myself and explained calmly that i am atheist and no i do not believe in Jesus. Well i hope you can all see where this discussion went. To the point however i would like to ask you guys if any of you have had this predicament and how did you deal with it. I do love my girlfriend very much but she is highly religious and has no intention of allowing me to stay "ignorant of her lord and savior." What do mentlegen?
yeah, if you think this is a bad speedbump in your relationship, imagine what will happen if and when you have kids. don't you think she will want your children to be indoctrinated into the faith? do you think you could ever convince her to raise your children to be critical thinkers and not be afraid of the skybully?
well shes not an imposing christian but a more of an "i love jesus" christian.
Yeah, but she's going to want your kids to "love jesus" just like she does, right?
I married a Catholic girl who wasn't even interested in going to church.
The only problem we had related to religion was once our kid was old enough to start going Catholic religion classes once a week after school.
Can't say that I have been in that position exactly, but communicating expectations is key here. If she expects to convert you or you her, things will never work out. If you plan to procreate and have very differing views on how to raise a child, things will be difficult, at best.
You probably can make a long term relationship work with a theist, but remember that there are so many fish in the sea and you will care for others as much, if not more, than those you have known so far. In other words, don't be afraid to move on. It might be best to partner with a mate that shares your core values.
I've had excellent sex with religious people, but I've never had excellent 'relationships' with religious people. Why? Conversations regarding values are a integral part of the daily me.
In the past, having great sex and fun with religious people has been confused with love, they are not always easy to distinguish... but I think that when you really really consider your true identity, the values that define 'you', it's impossible to be truly 'in love', completely, with the a religious human. IMHO, this is an example of being 'in love' with our 'projection' of that human, our biased and tainted perceptions of that human. I am convinced that it is exactly this inability of humans to recognise this fundamental bias causing our erroneous perception of the 'others dues to lust and co-dependence, is the greatest cause of divorce (or whatever equivalent) in our society.
I don't believe any relationship between a believer and a non-believer has any real potential, other than short term fun and entertainment.
I've made it in the door of religious homes, but never into the hearts. It's clear very early on to religionists that I'm not religious and the confrontation will take place if they have felt that they could save me. The one that got the furthest was younger than me. Eventually we had to have the conversation very directly that who I was would never change. While her church is cool, I don't find the message cool. It's exclusionary based solely on acceptance of a story. I've lost out on many great girls in my life due to this. In the end, I found an Atheist whom was the right match and these conversations are now more of a chorus, "Jesus loves us," lulz "A man lived in a whale." lulz I'm afraid that I wouldn't look back and change my decision because biting my tongue when Bachman speaks might lead to me overflowing with WTF's.
I wish you the best of luck. I'm simply saying for me it wouldn't work, but for you, if they have to ask, maybe it's feasible with some serious thought before you speak, everyday for the rest of your life. Dad, Mommy says that Jonah lived in a whale! Son, ask Mommy where the 33,000 cubic feet of air came from over those three days. Be sure to let her know that you respect her opinion!
well she doesnt dismiss it per-say. Its more of a breakdown and cry cause "I'm going to hell," faith.
Hmmm. Well this depends. Is she really hot?
You can deal with her rationally and use her knowledge of the bible to enhance your own. The bible
is a flawed document based on unreality and you can politely dispute her entreaties by explaining why the bible and jesus doesn't work. Try to keep the discussion healthy and off an emotional reactive level.
If this is impossible, then it's time to rethink your friendship.
I recently had a conversation about this very thing with a girl whom I like VERY much The context of the discussion was that her passionately-held Christian beliefs and my total lack of belief probably created an impregnable barrier between two people like us. She sadly agreed. And that's just the way it is.