For most of my life I have had theist friends far more than I have ever had those who were atheist.  A year and a half ago, I joined my first atheist group and have developed some casual friendships and one person specifically with whom I had developed a fairly close friendship which included going out often outside of the group.  Recently, my mother had developed a mental condition which had put undo stress in my life and this coincided with the recent Reason Rally which my atheist friend and I and attended.

The Rally was great but the rest of the trip was gawd awful and by the last day of the trip my friend was ignoring me although I felt I was doing everything possible to accommodate her.  After returning home I was unable to attend any atheist group events because of work related travel and the need to assist my mother with doctor visits and such.  But this is what I noticed.

 In the last three weeks my Christian friends repeatedly offered to help out with my mother and frequently called to check up on me, knowing that I not only was dealing with my  mother's issue but that I was also getting over two recent death's in my family.  Meanwhile, my atheist friends haven't sent me even one text, including the friend with whom I attended the Rally.  It has started me thinking that maybe I have been to critical about religion, but at the same time I can't speak to my Christian friends about my mother's condition too much because they immediately think it's demon related. Seriously!  I was kinda looking for some input on this.

Views: 222

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

It sounds like, for whatever reason, you never really made friends with the people in your atheist group (with the one exception).  That sort of thing happens.  And road trips can test a friendship, believe me I know this!  You might try reaching out to her to find out what her gripes are and consider where you may have been in the wrong (you can't imagine you have been, probably, because you don't know what they are.)

It's unfortunate, but believe me there are plenty of people who can report the exact opposite phenomenon, Xians who suddenly have no use for you as soon as you break away, and the like.  I don't think you can generalize about the two groups based on what you saw; given that it looks like you've found Xians who can agree to disagree, you're not wrong to consider continuing to hang out with them.

And road trips can test a friendship, believe me I know this!

I always heard "If you want a glimpse of what marrying someone will be like, take along trip with them."

Thanks for the input.  I have lost a lot of Christian friends myself when they discovered I was an atheist, but the Christians I have worked with that eventually became friends learned that us atheists were not all immoral monsters.

In the last three weeks my Christian friends repeatedly offered to help out with my mother and frequently called to check up on me, knowing that I not only was dealing with my  mother's issue but that I was also getting over two recent death's in my family.  Meanwhile, my atheist friends haven't sent me even one text, including the friend with whom I attended the Rally.  It has started me thinking that maybe I have been to critical about religion, but at the same time I can't speak to my Christian friends about my mother's condition too much because they immediately think it's demon related. Seriously!  I was kinda looking for some input on this.

There's a reason there are no Atheist General Hospitals the way there are Catholic or Lutheran or Methodist hospitals. Service is a part of Christian theology. There is no corresponding atheist "ology."

So, you're getting more help from your Christian friends. They aren't doing it because they are necessarily genuinely concerned with you or your mom. They are doing it so as to get to Heaven and avoid Hell. 

But from the atheist perspective, the point needs to be that their help, while appreciated, doesn't show that God exists. If most of the people helping you were UFOlogy nuts, it wouldn't prove that flying saucers have landed, would it?

Yeah, I think it boils down to, everyone is apathetic but Christians may actually help others for some promise of a reward.  But that doesn't speak too well for the humanism of atheists, but more to their apathy.

There are various ways to express one's humanity. Not all of them are one-on-one. Even so, in your case, their lack of empathy and offering to help, is a little distressing. But bear in mind those are just the ones you know and for whatever reason may not be the ones you could have known who would have shown more concern.

The MOST likely scenario is that you were distracted by your mom's condition, and, frankly, many women are turned off by guys who even talk about their mom.

:D

Of course, it could be that the rally itself caused HER stress, she might have felt you were only there to get it on with her, or, that you were not....either could be annoying depending on conditions.

Did you ask her about HER life/what was going on on HER end of things?

Atheists and theists, in general, are not really much different except on that one issue.

Theists, just like priests, home in on those in crisis/in need/who are needy, as those are the most vulnerable to conversion.

Missionaries are sent to third world countries, not to, say, affluent NYC communities....for that reason.

They build hospitals, but then influence birth control and pregnancy decisions/try to convert the dying/sick....etc.

Christian "friends" pop out of the woodwork, and home in on the wounded, like sharks smelling blood in the water, when "some one in need" is present.

So, people are people...and, while we all differ on specifics, there is no pattern I've seen or read about that indicates that Christians are more altruistic than atheists, and, in fact, most indications are that atheists are more likely to help when there is no reward for helping.

ONE GIRL doesn't represent all atheists...she is herself, period...and you don't know what HER mom, dad, siblings, job, etc are putting HER through...so even if christian, you can't say that's what all XYZ are like, etc.

:D

Just considering demographics, we atheists are most likely to have more theist than atheist friends. I'll bet time will help overcome that imbalance.

I hired a guy, and, later found out he was an atheist.  Atheists are all over the place, but typically more closeted than gays are lately.

:D

RSS

© 2018   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service