I need some input and some help with this. 

I am an atheist so this is not a troll question.  I would appreciate honest, practical input.

I know the general Atheist argument, or one of them, is that because we are atheists and don't believe in an afterlife that we appreciate the life we have more and cherish it even more than people who think there is something more.

I also wonder in comparison to believers how we see a "bigger meaning" to life that makes it all worth while?

Some context and explanation.

I am a man in my early 50's.   I was widowed a few years ago when my wife of over 20 years died after a long illness.  About a year ago now I started up a 'casual' relationship with a younger, very beautiful woman that turned into a much more intense relationship than either of us expected.   That relationship ended about a month ago at her insistence.  She ended it partially because she wasn't ready for as intense a relationship as we had.  Also partly because she has a more positive, optimistic attitude towards life and is spiritual.  I am a bit more negative, low self confidence, and as I said before an Atheist.

I am in a job I hate, and cannot at this point find one or even imagine one I won't hate.  Or one that will pay me enough to live on.

At this point I have nothing positive or good in my life.  Just loneliness and a job I hate.   

It makes me wonder why I bother.   Why deal with the anger, the stress, and the futility of getting through everyday life of working a job I hate and coming home to emptiness just to do it all over again tomorrow.

I do have a teenage son and at this point he is the only motivation to stick around for a few more years until he is through college and hopefully on with his life.  But really there are times that even that doesn't feel like enough. 

This is my first breakup. My wife was my first relationship and that ended in her death and I could cope with that.   The breakup seems to be much harder because the love seemed deeper and more passionate.  She was younger and so much more beautiful than anyone I had any business being with.   She insists the feeling are still there.  That she still loves me and misses me daily.  Which makes it harder for me to understand why we are not together.

I know that these threads are often more intellectual and abstract but I would like some input on how Atheists give their lives meaning and purpose.

To me now there is just such a degree of futility and pointlessness.  That it is just suffering and toil and all to no end, for no purpose.  I know I am in pain now and they say time will make it better but I also know that these ideas of life have always been with me, just easier to tamp down when I wasn't in so much pain.

Any input appreciated.  Please be kind.

Thanks

Views: 260

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hugs to you Mike!!!

There are TONS of beautiful women out there who would probably love to jump your bones. Go get yourself a nice suit and get out of the house and go to an event somewhere that you would enjoy. Go for a long walk until your legs fall off. Make a list of everything you have always wanted to do and start doing it.....

I met a 58 year old man today who posted a personals add on Craigslist. He said "looking for a walking partner"..... And happened to be close to me. Why the hell not. We went down a trail (public and all) and went out on the docks near the water. It was not love at first sight and we really have almost nothing in common. But we got some good excercise, breathed fresh air and we plan to do it again. No I do not see it going anywhere romantic. So what? We were out living life.

Maybe join a camping club. Or sign up for salsa lessons (great way to meet people.) Go to music festivals or concerts. Seriously there is a lot of life to live. The meaning only comes as you love it and you don't really need to overthink it (I think).

I can identify with feeling really lonely. You have us to talk to. For a long time all I had was the members of this site too. I fell apart and am still putting the pieces back together.

I think we can love deeply. I do. I also think people can come into your life for a season. Not everyone is meant to be there forever. If this woman wants to end it - move on. You deserve the best life has to offer you.

I don't know if there is a purpose to our lives. I think we have opportunities. We can act on them or not. If we do new opportunities arise.

As far as love - love is hard to find. And mutual love is even harder to come by. The sting of unrequited love is painful......

It is like a death

So you are mourning someone who is still alive. Give yourself a break and let yourself cry it out. Then.....look for the opportunities that await and a new day will rise.....

Cool that rhymed haha!!
A classic example: I decided today I am going to learn ribbon embroidery. What purpose? I like it and it is beautiful and it will allow me to make cheap gifts for people. I don't need to overthink it.

Think of something different and new to learn. It is good for your brain and your emotions. It will help you get out of your 'funk.' I too think you may be depressed. No shame in that. Get help if you can't get out of it yourself. Many people can't and there is no shame in saying it.

RSS

© 2020   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service