I need some input and some help with this.
I am an atheist so this is not a troll question. I would appreciate honest, practical input.
I know the general Atheist argument, or one of them, is that because we are atheists and don't believe in an afterlife that we appreciate the life we have more and cherish it even more than people who think there is something more.
I also wonder in comparison to believers how we see a "bigger meaning" to life that makes it all worth while?
Some context and explanation.
I am a man in my early 50's. I was widowed a few years ago when my wife of over 20 years died after a long illness. About a year ago now I started up a 'casual' relationship with a younger, very beautiful woman that turned into a much more intense relationship than either of us expected. That relationship ended about a month ago at her insistence. She ended it partially because she wasn't ready for as intense a relationship as we had. Also partly because she has a more positive, optimistic attitude towards life and is spiritual. I am a bit more negative, low self confidence, and as I said before an Atheist.
I am in a job I hate, and cannot at this point find one or even imagine one I won't hate. Or one that will pay me enough to live on.
At this point I have nothing positive or good in my life. Just loneliness and a job I hate.
It makes me wonder why I bother. Why deal with the anger, the stress, and the futility of getting through everyday life of working a job I hate and coming home to emptiness just to do it all over again tomorrow.
I do have a teenage son and at this point he is the only motivation to stick around for a few more years until he is through college and hopefully on with his life. But really there are times that even that doesn't feel like enough.
This is my first breakup. My wife was my first relationship and that ended in her death and I could cope with that. The breakup seems to be much harder because the love seemed deeper and more passionate. She was younger and so much more beautiful than anyone I had any business being with. She insists the feeling are still there. That she still loves me and misses me daily. Which makes it harder for me to understand why we are not together.
I know that these threads are often more intellectual and abstract but I would like some input on how Atheists give their lives meaning and purpose.
To me now there is just such a degree of futility and pointlessness. That it is just suffering and toil and all to no end, for no purpose. I know I am in pain now and they say time will make it better but I also know that these ideas of life have always been with me, just easier to tamp down when I wasn't in so much pain.
Any input appreciated. Please be kind.